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Discussion » Questions » Relationships » Are young people today (under 40) more hesitant and careful in forming close committed relationships?

Are young people today (under 40) more hesitant and careful in forming close committed relationships?

As compared to when people my age were young 35, 45 years ago. 

Posted - February 18

Responses


  • 2273
    I wouldn't say it's "careful" ... there is no more thought put into it than earlier generations.
    Sure, they may be waiting longer ... to establish careers, allegedly.  But I think that has less to do with making sure they have enough money for a family, and more to do with being free to have as much fun as they can while younger.
      February 18, 2019 8:55 AM MST
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  • 5096
    Thank you.  So they do not see close relationships as fun?
      February 19, 2019 5:24 AM MST
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  • 2273
    Relationships are usually more work than fun.
      February 19, 2019 7:14 AM MST
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  • 1459
    They're always a little work .. but with the right person for you .. mostly fun.  It's when you're with the wrong person ... it seems like more work than fun.
      February 19, 2019 7:27 AM MST
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  • 5096
    That seems to me rather condemning them.  If you are not enjoying them then I think why be in them? 
      February 19, 2019 7:36 AM MST
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  • 5315

    I don’t think it’s that we’re more careful. I think it’s too easy to not form close relationships these days. Back 15 years ago if didn’t have close relationships ( friendships or partner) you’d just sit around being lonely/ bored. Nowadays with social media,  it’s easy to sit at home alone or be in an unhealthy relationship, and have a fake sense of being/ feeling “social”. I don’t know if that’s a good thing or bad. Probably bad lol.   

      February 18, 2019 9:31 AM MST
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  • 5096
    Thank you. Seems to me yes all manner of industries have arisen - internet, gaming, retreats, even in some sense fashion - which serve and salve loneliness.  Where formerly we mostly had to play with one another or sit home and do nothing.  
      February 19, 2019 5:29 AM MST
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  • 5315
    You’re right and you’re welcome. :)
      February 19, 2019 6:26 AM MST
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  • 5850
    In the past everybody assumed that the only relationship was prostitution. Young people today are not that certain.
      February 18, 2019 1:13 PM MST
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  • 5096
    That sounds very strange.  Don't understand that. 
      February 19, 2019 5:30 AM MST
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  • 22386

      I don't either.
    - - -
      February 19, 2019 6:09 AM MST
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  • 1459
    I disagree with that.  I'm from the past in a lot of ways and Prostitution was still what it is today ... anything but a relationship.

      February 19, 2019 7:29 AM MST
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  • 2441
    I don't know if it's either one because all of the single people I know really hate being single and they wish they could just do something like snap their fingers or find a genie in a bottle to give them someone.  I don't know why they're not finding people.
      February 18, 2019 2:01 PM MST
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  • 2273
    Maybe they need to go where people are, who actually share their interests.
    OR hire a "matchmaker".


      February 18, 2019 3:07 PM MST
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  • 10627
    They don't know how.  And it's getting worse and worse.   If you really pay attention you can understand how and why.
      February 18, 2019 10:09 PM MST
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  • 1283
    It varies depending on their character, social milieu, and values.
    Taken on a large scale, I think they have been ever since the eighties and the proliferation of AIDS and other STD's.

    I believe the internet by default distorts the apparent looseness and lasciviousness of Westerners - because those who hunt for it find only those who post it.
    Those who don't engage with it remain invisible.
      February 19, 2019 12:20 AM MST
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  • 5096
    People are afraid of contracting a disease? You are saying people no longer hunt for relationships?   Thank you for your answer. 
      February 19, 2019 5:33 AM MST
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  • 1459
    In all parts of life ... young people aren't developing the skills necessary to have deep, meaningful, one on one relationships.  They spend most of their time getting to know people online .. which isn't really getting to know them on a personal level IMO. 

    It's much easier to #1 .. to say you're in a relationship with someone you barely know .. and #2 .. to "break up" when you're done and ready to move on to the next person.  No one sticks with much of anything anymore.  Very sad for them and what they're missing out on. This post was edited by Mrs. C at February 19, 2019 8:09 AM MST
      February 19, 2019 7:32 AM MST
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  • 5096
    This is my perception as well but I wonder if young people would see and perceive themselves in the way that people our see them.  When we were young we had a lot of opportunity to get to know and be with the opposite sex  just in the course of things so seems to me we became more realistic about them as well as familiar with them and so expected less of them - perhaps our  heads were not as much in the clouds about love.  But even being in love we were more about OK what can we do to make this work. 
      February 19, 2019 7:45 AM MST
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  • 1459
    I don't think they realize what they're missing out on.  I understand that young people need their online/digital skills to survive in the world in school and in business, but in their personal life, it's just not enough to insure relationships are real and will last.  It's good to help them to find people .. but not enough to keep the relationships viable and long lasting.  Good question officegirl!! This post was edited by Mrs. C at February 19, 2019 8:09 AM MST
      February 19, 2019 7:50 AM MST
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