Active Now

Danilo_G
Malizz
Discussion » Questions » Legal » I'm not actually allergic to mayonnaise, but isn't its intentional use tantamount to attempting to poison me?
Randy D

I'm not actually allergic to mayonnaise, but isn't its intentional use tantamount to attempting to poison me?


  (Wait here; I have to call the police . . . )


~

 

Posted - June 29, 2019
Tags : None

Responses


  • 5455
    its intentional use

    Wait here; I have to call the grammar police internal affairs division...)

    Do you know what they do to grammar cops in prison?

    I don't know either but that inmate just followed another former grammar cop into the shower room with a jar of mayonnaise and a really scary looking question mark.

    *hears screaming* This post was edited by Livvie at June 29, 2019 8:01 PM MDT
      June 29, 2019 7:27 PM MDT
    4

  • 52954

    Thanks for catching that error; I have edited it. (Would you mind calling the commissioner's office and seeing if I can get a reprieve?)

    ~
      June 29, 2019 7:58 PM MDT
    0

  • 10049
    The sandwich guy doesn't eat mayonnaise?? Are you kidding me???
      June 29, 2019 7:52 PM MDT
    3

  • 52954

      I've never liked it, NEVER!  YICK!

    ~
      June 29, 2019 7:55 PM MDT
    1

  • 10049
    You're missing out on a lot of sandwiches, mister! Not to mention all of the salads that go so nicely with them.

     
      June 29, 2019 8:03 PM MDT
    3

  • 52954

    Thank you, but one correction: I don't really miss out on any sandwiches that contain mayo, I still eat them, just without the mayo. Instead of mayo, I prefer other spreads, such as salad dressing, yellow mustard, honey mustard, etc. 
    ~
      June 29, 2019 9:02 PM MDT
    0

  • 10049
    I feel the same way about mustard that you do about mayo. 

    We're completely incompatible. 
      June 30, 2019 6:41 AM MDT
    1

  • 52954


    ~
      June 30, 2019 9:32 AM MDT
    1

  •   June 29, 2019 8:04 PM MDT
    2

  • 52954

      See, it's just like I told you, Detective; she's eager to kill me, just like I said in my sworn statement!  Arrest her!

    ~
      June 29, 2019 9:05 PM MDT
    1

  • No one's going to trust the word of someone who doesn't like mayo on their sammies. 
      June 29, 2019 9:36 PM MDT
    2

  • 52954

      That's right; blame the victim. I'll see you in court, lady. Grrrrrrr.
    ~
      June 29, 2019 9:38 PM MDT
    1

  • See you there, grammar curmudgeon. 
      June 29, 2019 9:51 PM MDT
    2

  • 52954

      I wonder what the tabloids will name you: The Mayo Maiden, The Suicide Sandwich Siren, The Wheat-and-Rye Widow, The Sammich Vamp, The Feta Femme Fatal, The Chef of Death, Dame Dill and Kill, Swiss Cheese Louise, The Crooked Cook, . . . 

    ~

     
      June 29, 2019 10:02 PM MDT
    1

  • Marmalade Mayhem. 
      June 29, 2019 10:35 PM MDT
    1

  • Ewwwww honey mustard
      June 29, 2019 10:27 PM MDT
    3

  • What kind of a barbarian puts honey mustard on a sandwich? 
      June 29, 2019 10:38 PM MDT
    1

  • 52954




      You rang, Madam?

    ~

     
      June 29, 2019 11:38 PM MDT
    0

  • Why is he wearing a dress? 
      June 30, 2019 5:37 AM MDT
    1

  • 52954

      Pants are too restrictive for “it“ to flop around and breathe down there. 


    ~
      June 30, 2019 9:40 AM MDT
    0

  • That's absolutely not true. Because I met that guy.
      June 30, 2019 9:45 AM MDT
    2