Discussion » Questions » Legal » I'm not actually allergic to mayonnaise, but isn't its intentional use tantamount to attempting to poison me?

I'm not actually allergic to mayonnaise, but isn't its intentional use tantamount to attempting to poison me?


  (Wait here; I have to call the police . . . )


~

 

Posted - June 29, 2019

Responses


  • 5451
    its intentional use

    Wait here; I have to call the grammar police internal affairs division...)

    Do you know what they do to grammar cops in prison?

    I don't know either but that inmate just followed another former grammar cop into the shower room with a jar of mayonnaise and a really scary looking question mark.

    *hears screaming* This post was edited by Livvie at June 29, 2019 8:01 PM MDT
      June 29, 2019 7:27 PM MDT
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  • 53504

    Thanks for catching that error; I have edited it. (Would you mind calling the commissioner's office and seeing if I can get a reprieve?)

    ~
      June 29, 2019 7:58 PM MDT
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  • 10052
    The sandwich guy doesn't eat mayonnaise?? Are you kidding me???
      June 29, 2019 7:52 PM MDT
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  • 53504

      I've never liked it, NEVER!  YICK!

    ~
      June 29, 2019 7:55 PM MDT
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  • 10052
    You're missing out on a lot of sandwiches, mister! Not to mention all of the salads that go so nicely with them.

     
      June 29, 2019 8:03 PM MDT
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  • 53504

    Thank you, but one correction: I don't really miss out on any sandwiches that contain mayo, I still eat them, just without the mayo. Instead of mayo, I prefer other spreads, such as salad dressing, yellow mustard, honey mustard, etc. 
    ~
      June 29, 2019 9:02 PM MDT
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  • 10052
    I feel the same way about mustard that you do about mayo. 

    We're completely incompatible. 
      June 30, 2019 6:41 AM MDT
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  • 53504


    ~
      June 30, 2019 9:32 AM MDT
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  •   June 29, 2019 8:04 PM MDT
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  • 53504

      See, it's just like I told you, Detective; she's eager to kill me, just like I said in my sworn statement!  Arrest her!

    ~
      June 29, 2019 9:05 PM MDT
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  • No one's going to trust the word of someone who doesn't like mayo on their sammies. 
      June 29, 2019 9:36 PM MDT
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  • 53504

      That's right; blame the victim. I'll see you in court, lady. Grrrrrrr.
    ~
      June 29, 2019 9:38 PM MDT
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  • See you there, grammar curmudgeon. 
      June 29, 2019 9:51 PM MDT
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  • 53504

      I wonder what the tabloids will name you: The Mayo Maiden, The Suicide Sandwich Siren, The Wheat-and-Rye Widow, The Sammich Vamp, The Feta Femme Fatal, The Chef of Death, Dame Dill and Kill, Swiss Cheese Louise, The Crooked Cook, . . . 

    ~

     
      June 29, 2019 10:02 PM MDT
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  • Marmalade Mayhem. 
      June 29, 2019 10:35 PM MDT
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  • Ewwwww honey mustard
      June 29, 2019 10:27 PM MDT
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  • What kind of a barbarian puts honey mustard on a sandwich? 
      June 29, 2019 10:38 PM MDT
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  • 53504




      You rang, Madam?

    ~

     
      June 29, 2019 11:38 PM MDT
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  • Why is he wearing a dress? 
      June 30, 2019 5:37 AM MDT
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  • 53504

      Pants are too restrictive for “it“ to flop around and breathe down there. 


    ~
      June 30, 2019 9:40 AM MDT
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  • That's absolutely not true. Because I met that guy.
      June 30, 2019 9:45 AM MDT
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