They don't really try to make the problem mine, but some people just call to complain about something in their lives. If it's a good friend, I let it go, but even then it can become tiresome.
I think people will do whatever they are going to do, and it has nothing to do with me. If I know that they are the type of people that will say "Kjames said this or that, later down the line, then I tend to say very little, sometimes "I don't know, what do you think?" is the best way to respond, or I hope you get that sorted.
However, if a friend needs to express their emotion, (since we are emotional creatures), then I'll listen, this might help the emotion pass and help them to form a more stable judgement (as long as they aren't drunk because it will be a waste of your time believe me). However, if it is the same issue again and again, I have to make sure that I am not enabling that person to stay in the situation by being their offload, some people won't change something unless they've had enough including me.
People do certain things for certain reasons...
1. They do things because it feels good, which is selfish but it's honest. 2. They help other's because it makes them feel good, it is more altruist but it is still selfish because you get a good feeling out of it. 3. They do things to avoid feeling bad, they don't want to do the thing, but they don't want to feel bad by not doing (the guilt trip), and this is dishonest, once I learned that I found it easier to say no, I still get fish hooked though, but try to be aware of it once I am. And people do know how to manipulate, we all do.
This post was edited by kjames at November 5, 2019 5:22 AM MST
Our utilities are quite inexpensive. (At least in this part of Ohio.) Save yours for beer. My gas bill, before all the added delivery and other inexplicable charges, are about $40 a month over the year. Electricity about the same.
Slartibartfast 