People i tend to lean on don't seem to mind it so much when I have a crush on them on London's unground trains at rush hour ,I think most even wait till I get off before making their way back to where they should have elighted from the train.. :(
No...my junior year English teacher thought I was a worldly gentleman. She was the one who felt awkward until I scrubbed her back in the shower. Then she relaxed.
Back then (1968) there was no crime. What teenage boy would talk if he is getting freebies. You were a girl...you wouldn't understand. We were walking boners.
According to USA federal law, 12 years old is the minimum age of consent is the USA, but it seems there are all sorts of limitations as to the particulars involved. "The age at which there are no restrictions for consensual sexual activities is 18 (sex with someone 12-18 is not illegal per se, but can still be open to prosecution under certain circumstances)."
You were most likely around 17 years old when you had this relationship with your junior year English teacher, so what she was doing was illegal. If she had been caught she would have lost her job, lost any chance of future employment as a teacher or in social work or psychology, and she would have gone to jail. It may have been a wonderful experience for you - and if so, then I'm glad it worked out well with no harm done - but there were still serious risks. Some boys do fall wildly in love and can be deeply hurt. If the teacher was promiscuous there could have been a risk for you in catching an STD.
There is a reason why sexual and romantic relationships between unequal partners is considered seriously unethical. The one with the greater power takes advantage of the one with less. More often than not, the consequences are emotionally devastating for the one with least power. Usually (90%) it's the male who has the power: teacher, tutor or professor with student priest or minister with member of congregation divorce lawyer with divorcing client, defence lawyer with accused client, estate executor with recipient of inheritence, psychologist or psychiatrist to client doctor, gynecologist or other medical specialist with patient
The position of power makes the one who has less particularly vulnerable, and frequently this is exploited in pathological, fraudulent and criminal ways.
Peter Rutter, M.D., wrote a book called Sex in the Forbidden Zone. It takes a Jungian look at how and why these relationships occur, examining case histories of different types and examining the similarities and consequences on both sides. In particular, it examines what is emotionally lacking in the person in power which causes them to transgress their professional ethics and vows.
I have a crush on a fellow student at the university. There is absolutely no chance that the relationship will ever become sexual or romantic. The feeling is not mutual.
I am ten years older and quite obviously ugly in his eyes. We are both married. His marriage is destined to fail. They live separate lives even though he still fathers his kids. My marriage is likely to survive until death. I would not want do anything that might jeopardise it.
He has become a close literary friend.
I don't become awkward or gawky around my crush. Rather, I'm very careful not to let him know how I feel. At the same time, I try to be a friend par excellence. I give him my best in literary critique; going through his work with a fine-tooth comb - plot arc and strategies, characterisation, setting, dialogue, poetry and quality of language, and the boring bits of proofreading. Since he is German and his English is imperfect, it's time-consuming work.
Sometimes I wonder whether he has intuited the truth of my crush and is using me.
Robert Graves' poem Love Without Hope sums it up nicely:
Love without hope, as when the young bird-catcher Swept off his tall hat to the Squire's own daughter, So let the imprisoned larks escape and fly Singing about her head, as she rode by.
This post was edited by inky at December 9, 2019 9:27 PM MST
There's something rather cute about that. Given that psychopaths are typically charming, perhaps the person who is honest about their shyness is the one who is the most authentic and most worth knowing.
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