Wait, what? I was just about to climb up to get into your window! We think alike!
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Please carry these with you, but before you go, I’ll need you to sign pages two, three and seven and please initial each of the binding clauses on pages five and six of these insurance er, um, practically meaningless documents. Don’t waste your precious time reading them first; I’ve already read them for you. (Cough, cough.)
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To make sure that I’m still afraid of heights (checks ‘yes’ on the insurance form).
To dislodge a dead raccoon from the chimney... in the pouring rain (maybe I should have cleaned the flue before I lit the fire).
To see which way the wind is blowing (the weather vane broke).
To make sure the lightning rod still works.
All valid reasons. See if the pizza delivery guy is getting close to my house, please.
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