About twenty years ago, I had a coworker who was like that, and sure enough, we all found out later it was fake. However, her reasons for it may have been valid.
It was a male-dominated profession (this was NOT when I was in the Marines), and one thing a lot of men in those situations never know is the tightrope that many women have to tread in order to make it day-to-day. The same behaviors and actions the average man exhibits, whether good, bad or neutral, are so unfairly scrutinized when a woman exhibits them. If she’s by-the-book, she could be judged favorably, but she most likely would be accused of sucking up. If she’s a rebel, she could be judged favorably as an independent thinker, but she would most likely be accused of being a troublemaking misfit. If she’s sullen, no big deal, everyone has their moods, but she’s most likely be “diagnosed” as having emotional problems. If she’s extroverted and friendly, she could be seen as an upbeat team-player, until she doesn’t sleep around with a particular guy or with all the guys, then she’s either a frigid man-hater or a slutty whore. If she’s introverted and a loner, she merely likes keeping to herself, but most liking she’d be seen as a cold witch who thinks she’s better than everyone else.
The woman in question turned out to be wary of ever letting it seem that she had a negative opinion of anything or anybody there. She knew that she would never receive the exact same fair shake that a male counterpart in her peer group would receive. She decided to put on a happy face every single minute of every single day, going above and beyond anything that would give anyone an excuse to put in a bad word about her. I didn’t work directly with her for an extended period of time, maybe a couple of weeks, and then I moved on to a different section. Being kind of new myself at that time, I can’t speak to her job performance from the higher ups perspective, and I knew very little about her interactions with the staff at large. I do know that her “cheerfulness” seemed faked and forced, in my opinion.
Months later, I found out that her entire attitude was a proactive measure on her part to stave off two things: any attempts at sexual improprieties (harassment, abuse, assault), and any rumors that she would be willing to or that she was sleeping her way to the top. If she always treated everybody the same way regardless of situation or circumstance, she could not be suspected of favoring anyone, or allowing herself to be favored by anyone. She decided early on that her equal treatment regimen would be a smile and a good attitude every single day. Her plan worked. She had the respect of decent people there who knew she was all business, and she inspired a no-nonsense approach to those who thought that they might one day “break” her.
This is just one story I know of one person who acted like that, and dime some of the reasoning behind it. Not everyone who runs around with a goofy grin all the time does it for the same reasons. Like you, I’m not really a fan of that kind of person; they bug me more than a little, especially if and when it seems fake. When I read your post, I didn’t plan to write this much, or to even tell that lady’s story, but it all gushed out of me as I went along.
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This post was edited by Randy D at September 11, 2022 5:57 PM MDT
Thank you. Having joined the Marines directly out of high school, and then being in all-male units for my first nine years of service, I was well into my thirties before I worked alongside women in great numbers, and that was in the civilian world after I left the military.
In extreme examples, some of my experiences in the military included months-long deployments aboard ship completely surrounded by five thousand other men when we were at sea, and at least one or two thousand other men when in the field on maneuvers. Of course, we’d hit land every couple of weeks or every few weeks with varying amounts of time ashore (from a few hours to a month, depending on where and when), but my point is that there were times we were never around any women at all. It certainly has a mark on men’s mindsets to be immersed in those environments. Not all bad, not all bad good, some even neutral.
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I love your entire post, but that first paragraph describes it for me so beautifully that I wish I had written it! I’m so jealous of it that I want to pay you a ghostwriter’s fee and copyright it as my own! Grrrrrrr.
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Thank you, my friend!
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righty1 