Discussion » Questions » Transportation » What is your best trite advice on how to get unstuck for the captain of the Ever Given (the ship stuck in the Suez Canal)?

What is your best trite advice on how to get unstuck for the captain of the Ever Given (the ship stuck in the Suez Canal)?

Did you try backing up and moving forward?

Posted - March 26, 2021

Responses


  • 1817
    someone should get out and push it 
      March 26, 2021 8:59 PM MDT
    4

  • 5451
    I agree.  We need some volunteers.  Since Stu, Kittigate, Randy, Slarti and Element are all here... Hey!  Where’s everybody going?
      March 27, 2021 5:50 PM MDT
    3

  • 53531

     

      Listen, take my name off of that list! I called dibs on steering, I’m already behind the wheel, so all the other guys have to get out and push!
    ~

      March 27, 2021 6:34 PM MDT
    4

  • 5451
    You’re right.  My bad.  I see you’re already on the list for kitchen duty.  We have Adobada burritos with extra guacamole on the menu tonight.  The crew’s hungry!  Let’s get with it and start mashing up those avocados!
      March 27, 2021 6:43 PM MDT
    4

  • 53531

     

    ~

      March 27, 2021 7:06 PM MDT
    4

  • 5451
    Hey!  That’s unapproved shore leave!  You can’t do that!
      March 28, 2021 8:27 PM MDT
    2

  • 53531

      “Cargo ship”? What cargo ship? No, I didn’t jump ship, I’m not on unapproved shore leave, you must have me confused with some other guy. Excuse me, but I haven’t the foggiest idea what you’re talking about; I’ve been on this beach with this beautiful lady since sunrise.

    ~

      March 28, 2021 8:57 PM MDT
    2

  • 13277
    Back it up and try again.
      March 26, 2021 9:05 PM MDT
    5

  • 5451
    OK, try it one more time.  Almost got it!  Oh, it looked like we almost had it. 
      March 27, 2021 5:51 PM MDT
    3

  • 13395
    Drill holes in the canal bed under the bow where it is hung up and tamp down a calculated amount of explosives to try blasting her free.
      March 26, 2021 9:15 PM MDT
    4

  • 5451
    *detonates explosives*  Umm, why’s it sinking?  Now it’s just blocking the canal underwater.  Let’s just leave quietly and hope no one sees us.  Forget that we were ever here! This post was edited by Livvie at March 29, 2021 11:00 AM MDT
      March 27, 2021 5:55 PM MDT
    4

  • 53531

      Lead Investigator: “The majority of the fingerprints we’ve identified all come back as belonging to one “Livvie”, which is most likely an alias, but she has several convictions on record. She claimed she was settling down, starting a family, going straight, just like they all say.”

      Chief Prosecutor: “Wait, that sounds familiar! We have an informant who gave her name as being part of a fake restraining order scam! They’re paying judges under the table to sign restraining orders even when there’s little or no evidence against the accused.”

      Lead Investigator: “I’ll have a couple of officers go pick her up and brought in for questioning. Better yet, looking at her file, I’ll send a SWAT Team; she’s a fighter. By the way, who’s the informant this time? Are you still relying on Randy D?”

    Chief Prosecutor: “Of course I am. That guy’s street cred and knowledge of criminal activity is so accurate that we never lose a case when we follow his tip-offs. It’s uncanny, almost as if he has a gift that lets him think just like these thugs. I’m just glad he’s on our side, lol!”


    ~

      March 27, 2021 7:21 PM MDT
    4

  • 5451
    If you want to testify, I’m sure I can find the least glamorous duty for you on the ship.
      March 28, 2021 8:31 PM MDT
    1

  • 53531

     


      Threatening a witness! Threatening a witness! Threatening a witness!  Witness intimidation, witness tampering, she’s up to her old tricks, she hasn’t changed a bit! You all heard her! CITIZEN’S ARREST! CITIZEN’S ARREST!  I’m calling the prosecutor’s office and requesting a protective detail! I’ll be put up in a five-star hotel with an attractive detective who won’t be able to keep her hands off of me!

     



    (You know, this might actually work out in my favor!)
    ~

      March 28, 2021 10:11 PM MDT
    0

  • 53531

     

      1. Levitation as performed by master magicians 
      2. Tomorrow is Saturday; announce a weekend garage sell sale with cutthroat prices for all the cargo and all parts of the ship that aren’t welded down, as the displacement decreases, affix enormous wings on either side of the hull and fly that baby out of there
      3. Hire the engineers who dig smuggling tunnels for criminal cartels, create a trench at a sloping angle descending from the ship to open sea and then flood it so that baby can be floated out of there
      4. Have Bruce Willis assemble a crew, they attach large NASA-style rocket boosters around the ship and shoot it straight up to satellite level or asteroid level
    ~

    This post was edited by Randy D at March 27, 2021 7:19 PM MDT
      March 26, 2021 10:08 PM MDT
    5

  • 5451
    We’re hiring you to get that ship unstuck.  If it turns out like one of your tilde, sandwich-making or harem-building schemes, we never met you.
      March 27, 2021 5:59 PM MDT
    3

  • 53531

     

      Ok, I’ll take the job, just as long as you assure me that there won’t be any distractions that could keep me from focusing . . . well, one distraction is no problem, I can still function.



     I’ll just go to the other side of the ship.  Oh, wait a second . . .


    ~

      March 27, 2021 7:34 PM MDT
    3

  • 13277
    Gadzooks, an edited tag! Eeeeew.
      March 27, 2021 7:20 PM MDT
    2

  • 53531

    There was absolutely NO WAY that I could let that error stand. Grrrrrrrr. 

    :(

      March 27, 2021 7:23 PM MDT
    2

  • 16843
      March 27, 2021 2:12 AM MDT
    6

  • 5451
    Good idea!  Bring me 16000000000 helium balloons, please!  It’s working!  

    One of them just popped!  Get out of the way! 
      March 27, 2021 11:41 AM MDT
    4

  • 53531

     

      I’ll take care of this. 


    ~

      March 27, 2021 7:54 PM MDT
    2

  • 11132
    Just gun the engine and step on the gas.
      March 27, 2021 6:45 AM MDT
    6

  • 5451
    Now it’s really wedged in there!  I have just the thing.




      March 27, 2021 6:01 PM MDT
    5