I get the daily news by print and online.
“Hi! My name is Randy D, and I’d like to come in and regale you with a litany of current events and human interest stories! Let me in, this should only take a couple of hours! The best part is that I can drop by daily for the next few months to make sure you’re completely updated at all times! Helloooooooooo? Open up, please! What’s that you said? A restraining order? Nobody pays attention to those silly things, it’s probably a fake that you downloaded from a comedy website. Take that security chain off and unlock this door please!”
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“I could move 'off the grid' or even just avoid any sort of media delivering device (and other humans) completely.”
You probably haven’t done so yet until you and I have solidified some type of in-person and permanent “arrangements” (wink, wink).
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They certainly might be. Luring me into bed is the number one way to ensure that I’m paying attention to absolutely nothing else in the universe. Grrrrrrr.
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I’m not the one who makes brownies. Heck, I’m not even allowed in the kitchen. That leaves you, Miss Brownie-Baker.
(I hope it won’t become necessary for me to seek a restraining order against you for stalking me the way you do. Please learn to respect boundaries.)
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Rats! That means I have to move in with you!
Finally, I get to convert your spare bedrooms into a Tilde Vault, a Grammar Library, a Harem Home-Away-From-Home you know, the usual items every posh and sleek residence must have. You and I will occupy your bedroom, of course. What size is the bed, queen, king, what? I have several sets of sandwich-related linen that I must use in order to get a good night’s sleep.
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Shhhhhh.
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Jane S 