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Discussion » Questions » Human Behavior » Etiquette/ethics question: a person is sitting down to eat lunch at a small breakroom in the workplace. A coworker arrives, sits in one of
Randy D

Etiquette/ethics question: a person is sitting down to eat lunch at a small breakroom in the workplace. A coworker arrives, sits in one of

the few available seats, notices that person number one is eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, says in a horrified voice, “Peanut butter? How can you eat that in here? I’m allergic to peanuts, I’ll break out in hives and won’t be able to breathe!” The first person says, “Oh, I didn’t know you’re allergic to peanut butter . . . ”


Question: which one of them should leave the breakroom, if either?  (I already know how I would answer.)
~

 

Posted - April 19, 2023
Tags : None

Responses


  • 3820
    Neither of them should have to leave if there is enough space between them so that the second person doesn't come in contact with the peanut butter.  Having said that, I don't know how close one would have to be to peanut better between two slices of bread to have an anaphylactic reaction.

    If anyone should leave, it should be the second person and clearly, the first person could not have known that person number two was allergic.
      April 19, 2023 9:47 PM MDT
    2

  • 11087
    I was on an airplane once and they made an announcement that a passenger had an airborne peanut allergy. Everyone on board was asked to refrain from consuming anything with peanuts in it. I still wonder if this was a legitimate issue and if so, why that passenger would risk his life to take a flight. Or even how a person like that could be out in most public spaces.
      April 20, 2023 8:34 PM MDT
    3

  • 3820
    Can the smell of peanuts trigger an allergic reaction?
     
     
     
    Image result for is there an airborne peanut allergy
     
    Even if you are allergic to peanuts, touching, smelling or inhaling particles from peanuts cannot cause an allergic reaction—at least not the serious, life-threatening type that everyone with a peanut allergy fears. You are not in danger unless you eat them.Jun 3, 2019

    Can Simply Smelling Peanuts Cause an Allergic Reaction?

    UNC Health Care
    https://healthtalk.unchealthcare.org › can-simply-smell..
      April 21, 2023 6:51 AM MDT
    1

  • 11087
    That's what I suspected. 
      April 21, 2023 6:58 AM MDT
    2

  • 3820
    Makes sense because that would mean the person can neve leave his house.  I can understand making that announcement on a plane since they provide peanuts and this person might sit next to someone who wanted to eat theirs, but in general, that should not apply.
      April 21, 2023 7:07 AM MDT
    1

  • 10662
    The peanut butter should leave the room (that goober is nuts!).
      April 19, 2023 11:10 PM MDT
    4

  • 17614
      April 20, 2023 12:02 PM MDT
    3

  • 34432
    The 2nd person. 
    Unless person 2 is going to buy person 1's lunch, they do not get to tell anyone what they can or cannot eat. 
      April 20, 2023 5:09 AM MDT
    2

  • 17614
    If you are so allergic to something that just being in the room with it can cause you trouble, you have no business going into a room where people are eating.   It is also up to this person to check with restaurants before going to see if they have ever in their lives seen or heard of a peanut on the premises.  

      April 20, 2023 12:01 PM MDT
    2

  • 23641

    In my opinion, the person with allergies.
      April 20, 2023 9:04 PM MDT
    1

  • 5451
    When I was in high school bringing peanut butter to school was a pretty serious thing.  We weren’t allowed to bring peanuts, peanut butter or anything else made out of peanuts.  In fact, school administrators didn’t really see a big difference between peanuts and guns.  Even joking about someone having either a gun or a jar of peanut butter in their backpack would’ve gotten someone into a lot of trouble.
      April 20, 2023 11:30 PM MDT
    2

  • 11087
    No wrong answer. Either person can decide to put another's needs first. There would likely be a number of factors that each would use in deciding. Choose kindness.
      April 21, 2023 6:27 AM MDT
    3

  • 16826
    Peanut butter should be illegal! Nobody ever went into anaphylactic shock eating Vegemite.
      April 21, 2023 7:00 AM MDT
    1

  • 10052
    Seems an unlikely dilemma, but I'd ask HR why they didn't make sure everyone knew about said allergy, if it were indeed that serious. Personally, I would offer to leave if I were person #1. I care very much about not harming others, even if I don't understand or agree with them. 
      April 21, 2023 8:00 PM MDT
    2

  • 53524

     

      Wouldn’t HR be invading one’s privacy by divulging confidential medical information?

    :|

      April 21, 2023 11:52 PM MDT
    2

  • 10052
    Not if there's an expectation of coworkers to avoid a potentially dangerous allergen, of course. There would need to be written consent to disclose, interoffice memo, posting in the lunchroom, etc. Person #2 could not reasonably expect coworkers to avoid the allergen otherwise. 

    (This is exactly why it seems a highly unlikely dilemma, btw). 
      April 22, 2023 7:15 AM MDT
    1

  • 53524

     

      I suppose you make valid points, I can envision HR posting an announcement without specifying anything personally identifying about the employee who has the allergies, such as: “It is known that there is a person who frequents this room and has allergies to peanut-related products, for that reason, it is requested that other employees  . . .” or words to that effect.
    ~

      April 22, 2023 10:45 AM MDT
    1

  • 3820
    I agree with you in principal, but it would seem that Person #1 had no idea that Person #2 was so highly allergic to peanut butter.  Person #2 could have made that known in a but nicer manner rather than seeming to yell at Person #1 as though this was common knowledge.  
      April 22, 2023 6:48 AM MDT
    2

  • 10052
    I didn't interpret 'horrified voice' as seeming to yell, but I can see how it might be. 

    My reaction would be somewhat different if I felt that I'd been yelled at but would still result in me leaving the area. LOL. 
      April 22, 2023 7:21 AM MDT
    1

  • 3820
    You're clearly a better person than I am.  I don't respond well to people taking an attitude with me - especially in this case where I couldn't have known about that person's allergy.
      April 22, 2023 10:36 AM MDT
    2

  • 10052
    I doubt I'm better but could be more sensitive. I'm more apt to respond with tears than anger in most circumstances. 
      April 22, 2023 8:38 PM MDT
    1

  • 3820
    Probably.  I'm not sure I would get angry, but in a way I think that Person #2 feels disrespected by Person #1 who couldn't have known of the allergy.  
      April 23, 2023 7:13 AM MDT
    2