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Discussion » Questions » Legal » You’ve been kidnapped and Randy D is responsible for paying the ransom. What are some (humorous) reasons that he might not do it? [~]

You’ve been kidnapped and Randy D is responsible for paying the ransom. What are some (humorous) reasons that he might not do it? [~]

 

 

Posted - May 26, 2023

Responses


  • 2898
    Avocados and mayonnaise are staples in my home.
      May 26, 2023 7:41 AM MDT
    4

  • 52993

     

      Gee, sounds as if you’re a goner for sure. May I move into your place now that you don’t need it any longer?
    ~

      May 27, 2023 12:20 AM MDT
    5

  • 2898
    I'm more likely to be done in by some homeless person or street thug than by avocados and mayonnaise. This post was edited by Spunky at May 29, 2023 9:03 AM MDT
      May 27, 2023 10:26 AM MDT
    4

  • 52993

     

     I now see that I mistook who was whom there. It should have read:

      Gee, sounds as if I am a goner for sure. Are you just planning to move into my place once I’m gone and will not need it any longer? Grrrrrrrrrrr. 



    ~

      May 27, 2023 1:38 PM MDT
    4

  • 23068

    Along with paying, the kidnappers demand he listen to every pop song from after the year 1990 and to name a song he likes.
      May 27, 2023 1:37 AM MDT
    6

  • 10053
    Excellent answer. Like Spunky, you're a goner. 
      May 27, 2023 6:58 AM MDT
    4

  • 23068
    Even as a goner, I still thank you for liking my answer.  :)
      May 28, 2023 5:42 PM MDT
    4

  • 52993

    I erred completely on citing you for a missing apostrophe, you and Livvie were right the entire time, and I was wrong. I should have paid closer attention to the comma after the word “paying”. I owe you a formal apology and I have deleted that portion of the thread. 


      May 29, 2023 8:39 AM MDT
    3

  • 23068
    No worries! Ha! No apology needed -- Homer here had me laughing out loud! And the food and drinks in my Grammar Cell were wondrous, thank you! I enjoyed my stay!  :)
      May 29, 2023 8:41 AM MDT
    3

  • 10053
    The ransom demand includes a requirement that Randy D must try every beverage on the menu at Starbucks.

    I know, I'm also a goner.  
      May 27, 2023 7:01 AM MDT
    6

  • 52993

     

      You’re dead to me.
      :(

      May 27, 2023 1:29 PM MDT
    3

  • 5453

    Randy would need to pay himself by transferring  the ransom money from his savings account to his checking account.  

    Unfortunately he can’t access his Wells Fargo account because the last security upgrade for the mobile app added Captcha to the login page.  Now, no matter what he types into the box, it just goes back to the Captcha screen.




    I might be here for a while.

      May 27, 2023 1:52 PM MDT
    5

  • 52993

     

      Detectives, Assistant District Attorneys, private investigators, news reporters, talk show hosts, criminal justice students, movie producers, documentary researchers, the victim’s family and friends, I hereby unequivocally and emphatically declare that I had nothing to do with the alleged kidnapping of (queenpin) Livvie The Eivvil One, nor was I even aware that said alleged crime had taken place. Rumors connecting me with the incident have been maliciously concocted to harm my good name and my exemplary status as an upstanding pillar of the community, have been grossly exaggerated in vile attempts at discrediting me, and have been circulated with the interest of propping up the image of my enemies. 


      — Signed, Randall D Randolph, The Innocent.
    ~

      May 27, 2023 7:06 PM MDT
    4

  • 16326
    He still hasn't forgiven me for "The Great Vegemite Caper". It was a practical JOKE, dude.
      May 27, 2023 9:46 PM MDT
    4

  • 52993

     

     



      “Ransom note”? What random note? I never received any ransom note, in fact, the kidnappers haven’t contacted me at all! I’m beginning to wonder whether Slart staged this thing himself and hasn’t really been kidnapped. Grrrrrrrrrrr.
    ~

      May 27, 2023 10:15 PM MDT
    3