When I was in high school, I worked at the concession stand in a movie theater. Sometimes a customer would give the popcorn a suspicious look, if the popper wasn't on, and ask 'is that yesterday's popcorn'? I would give them a puzzled look and say 'no, but I can see if there is any in the back for you'.
Lots of times and I’m really convincing at it.
Once in a restaurant I pretended I was having a real hard time opening the little packets of ketchup. I purposely got ketchup all over my hands and shirt. When the waitress walked by I asked her if I could please have a pair of scissors so I could open up the ketchup and she said - ummmmm no l better do it for you. Cheers!
[Setting: Minneapolis Municipal Courthouse, Civil Division, a hearing to adjudicate a restraining order]
”But Your Honor, if I am to comply with the edict of not going within 1,000 meters of Miss S, I’ll need as much information as possible to avoid an inadvertent breach of the lawful order. Quite surely The Bench would be so kind as to provide me with the address of her residence(s), an itinerary or schedule of her habitual activities, maps of her comings and goings, a list of her known associates, . . . ”
~
I once earned myself a First Nations name which was – Stupid White Man That Runs With Scissors In His Hand. I was on the Rez trimming bud and I got up and ran around the table a few times with my scissors in my hand. Then I stopped and said – see mother was wrong its not dangerous to run with scissors in your hand.
I was kind of hoping for something like – Fearless White Man That Runs With Scissors in his Hand. But you get what you get on the Rez. Cheers and happy weekend!
This post was edited by Nanoose at June 28, 2025 9:36 AM MDT
Don’t know if this one counts.
But once a drunk Biker Chick got it in her head that I owed her money. I kept respectively telling her that I didn’t but she kept telling me I did and she got more hostile by the minute. Eventually I figured I might as well go for broke so I asked her if I could have one of her beers. She screamed at me – are you stupid or something? And I said - stupid is as stupid does. Her face lite up with big smile and she told me she loved the Forest Gump movie - and we started talking about it – instead of the money she thought I owed her. Cheers!
Nanoose 