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Baybreeze

Did you ever think you weren't good enough for something, to later find you were?

Have you ever felt low/less than others in any realm of your life, and thought you couldn't do something or were not good enough, but then you later did to your surprise? I'm having issues with love and dating- I always decline guys b/c I feel not good enough; not confident enough, and like the trauma I have had in past (abuse) , taints me in a way... then I think a date/guy will sense that and feel I'm less as well. :/ Any stories welcome in your own life..

Posted - March 31, 2017
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Responses


  • I was a very nervous teen and never thought I measured up against other people -- in any number of areas. It was an eye-opener when I learned that some of my abilities were actually better than average.
      April 1, 2017 12:58 AM MDT
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  • 1138
    That is Wonderful Didge!!! Thank you :)
      April 1, 2017 8:57 AM MDT
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  • 6477
    Yes, lots of times...most recently in my course I am studying... I joined it never thinking I would be any good.... and I messed about, joked, laughed and didn't take it seriously... probably as a defence mechanism...  then the course started to get serious and I realised I needed to stop being silly...that it was just a way to hide my fear that I was no good at it...acting the clown... pretending I dont care... 

    Now the thing I Have learned is... I am doing it... but I STILL think everyone else is better than me... and I tell them so.. and you know what I've learned? That THEY all think I am better than them.. so what I am saying is... we ALL or most of us, have this fear that we are no good at things, that we will fail... 

    And I truly believe that most of the time this is wrong! 
      April 1, 2017 5:56 AM MDT
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  • 2960
    No, I just end up not good enough. This post was edited by Mr. Bromide at April 1, 2017 6:52 AM MDT
      April 1, 2017 5:58 AM MDT
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  • 1138
    For who? and who can ACTUALLY say /measure if you are not 'good' enough??  While I have bought this lie for YEARS, almost my whole life, that I'm 'less' I know NO one is less, and we are all miracle wondrous beings... *huggg
      April 1, 2017 8:58 AM MDT
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  • 1713
    I have yet to prove myself wrong in the belief that I am exceedingly useless.
      April 1, 2017 6:27 AM MDT
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  • 1138
    Useless? How could you EVER be useless? Can you ABSOLUTELY KNOW you are 'useless' ... ? No. What are ways you are NOT useless?!! That last part is from an author I love, Byron Katie; she says we take ANY stressful thought of ourselves, and say can we KNOW it is TRUE? What are the ways in which it is NOT true? P, no one is useless ok?? You are here, you are a miracle and wonder itself, even love itself :) I hope you smile today....
      April 1, 2017 1:23 PM MDT
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  • Dear Baybreeze,
    Oh, yes...indeed I have...to assess our own abilities relative to others is a lifelong adjustment...

    On one of the Dalai Lama's early trips to the USA, he remarked at our economic wealth, coupled with our low self-esteem.

    But then to make ourselves feel better, we continually try to put others down...which is what happened to you, in huge doses. Realistically, however, what I see is that instead of leaving you tainted, the abuse actually makes you more able to understand the trauma of others...gives you an edge, in fact.
    * * *
    Here is what I am coming to, as I get older:
    1. First of all, no one is allowed to put me down. I listen, but just don't let it penetrate.
    2. Then I go ask someone I DO trust, who loves me and will help me see clearly without put-downs.
    3. Third, I use the put-down experience to make sure I never do that to another person - as much as I can, not to pass that awful stuff on to other human beings.
    4. I don't listen to put-downs of others, either. I spend lots of time with people who don't demean others at all.
      April 1, 2017 6:51 AM MDT
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  • 1138
    I love your list V!!! Thank you for your kind, wonderful words. Thank you also for CARING about my questions, and that you said instead of being 'tainted' I am MORE able to understand others which gives me edge. You are just so kind. *huggg. I hope you are enjoying your night b/c you are one AWESOME Mugger hehe.. :)
      April 5, 2017 11:45 PM MDT
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  • 22891
    i feel that way with guys too, im never good enough for them, they never ask me out either, same with jobs, feel like im not good enough for them either since i lose every single one i get lately, same with people, feel like im not good enough for them either since they never want to hang out with me
      April 2, 2017 5:41 PM MDT
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  • 1138
    Aww Pearl, I KNOW you ARE good enough; for guys, for jobs, and for LIFE. Why? Because you are YOU and you are a miraculous , wondrous human BEING !! :) Do not give up on hope and do not let ANY one get you down about who you ARE.
      April 5, 2017 11:43 PM MDT
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