Discussion » Questions » Legal » Listen, I need to stash a large bag full of tildes at your place until the heat dies down. If the cops ask, you don't know where they came
Randy D

Listen, I need to stash a large bag full of tildes at your place until the heat dies down. If the cops ask, you don't know where they came

from, and most importantly, you never heard of ME!  Deal?
__

Posted - May 20, 2017
Tags : None

Responses


  • 7939
    Oh, no you don't. You can take that bag of tildes with you when you go. Last time you pulled a stunt like this, the bag had a tracking device and a timed ink bomb. It took me weeks to get the ink out of my hair.
      May 20, 2017 2:09 PM MDT
    4

  • 53526


    That was YOU?

    ~
      May 20, 2017 11:38 PM MDT
    2

  • 44652
    They now have tilde sniffing dogs so I would have no place to hide them.
      May 20, 2017 2:14 PM MDT
    4

  • 53526
    (tilde-sniffing)


    You've just proven that you can't be trusted. Never mind, I'll take my chances in the interrogation room. 
    ~
      May 20, 2017 9:37 PM MDT
    1

  • 5614
    Okay but I'll leave a key to an abandoned vehicle nearby we keep for just this purpose. Its parked in a lot.
      May 20, 2017 2:15 PM MDT
    2

  • 53526
    Wait a second, you left out an apostrophe. How do I know you're really on my side?  I'll bet you're wearing a wire, I'll bet you're working for them!

    ~
      May 20, 2017 9:39 PM MDT
    1

  • 22891
    sorry but i dont help with illegal stuff, youre on your own with that
      May 20, 2017 2:19 PM MDT
    2

  • 53526


    Illegal, ilschmegal. Please don't let mere technicalities cloud your judgement. You can always say that you didn't know about any illegal activity, which is true. Oh, and don't worry about the thick oily substance that's leaking from the bag; once you get used to the stench you won't even notice it any more, and the stains are not permanent. 

    ~
      May 20, 2017 9:48 PM MDT
    1

  • 5451
    Careful, Randy!

    She desperately needs two apostrophes, a comma and a period.  As soon as you leave she's going to go to a cheap motel to trade your bag of tildes for the proper punctuation!

    I hope you know that!
      May 21, 2017 9:10 AM MDT
    0

  • 5451
    OK.  You can put them in my car.  I'll just take them for a ride.  Tildes love riding in cars!



    Look!  We're almost there!  Yay!



      May 20, 2017 2:51 PM MDT
    2

  • 53526


    What strange and mysterious country are you planning to take them to?

    ~
      May 20, 2017 9:54 PM MDT
    1

  • 5451
    We're there! Yay!  Your tildes are free!  I freed your tildes!


    Unfortunately the Transport Ministry of Montetildezikstan has not yet mastered the art of producing realistic looking highway signs.


    This post was edited by Livvie at May 21, 2017 11:39 AM MDT
      May 21, 2017 9:00 AM MDT
    3

  • 53526


    Wait, you mean to say that county still exists?  I thought the government there was overthrown by anti-punctuation rebels in a bloody coup months ago! 
    ~
      May 21, 2017 11:41 AM MDT
    1

  • 5451
    I left the tildes in the pro-punctuation countryside.  All of the fighting is in the cities.  When they find an anti-punctuation rebel in the countryside they just bury him up to his neck and let the tildes crawl of over him and bite him.  Night time is when the more-than and less-than signs come out and they just finish eating the carcasses of the rebels.

      May 21, 2017 7:14 PM MDT
    0

  • Officer: "Sir, we are out searching the neighborhood for a man named Randy D, the notorious Tilde Robber. Here is is his picture. Have you seen him?"

    Me upon viewing the photo: "I've never met this Randy D. He sounds like a jackass to be honest. If I see him, I'll be sure to let you know, officer."

    Officer looking into my home: "I see you have an overflowing bag of tildes there. Where did you get it?"

    Me with a silver toungue: "Officer, I'll be honest. I'm a tilde addict myself, and those are tildes I have spent more time than I care to admit collecting. I'm not proud of what I've become, but I rest peacefully at night knowing I've obtained them legally. I have a receipt for the last bundle if you need to see it, officer."

    Officer: "No, that's ok, sir. Here is my card. Give us a call if you have any information on this man. Have a nice day."

    Me: "You as well, officer. I hope you get your guy."

    There! Is this satisfactory enough for you to entrust me with your stash of tildes?
     
      May 20, 2017 3:02 PM MDT
    4

  • 53526
    (Comma after the word 'jackass'.)

    I'm suspicious. If you're one of us, how could you have missed an apostr . . . wait, wait, I saw this before in a James Bond movie! You're an undercover cop, I know you are! Narco, narco, narco, narco!!!
    ~




      May 20, 2017 10:02 PM MDT
    2

  • 11103
    Sure. Where will you be hiding if they ...I mean I, need to contact you? This post was edited by Jane S at May 21, 2017 9:14 AM MDT
      May 20, 2017 4:03 PM MDT
    2

  • 53526


    I'm way ahead of you: there's no reward offered this time. 
    ~
      May 20, 2017 10:04 PM MDT
    2

  • 11103
    No reward needed!
      May 21, 2017 4:34 AM MDT
    0

  • 53526
    Hey, wait!  I thought I could TRUST you!
    ~
      May 21, 2017 7:01 AM MDT
    1

  • 19937
    Put them under my bed.  They'll never be found among the dust bunnies.
      May 20, 2017 7:04 PM MDT
    3

  • 53526


    You're the only one who cares, thank you!  (I'll also need to borrow your identification for a while.)
    ~
      May 20, 2017 10:09 PM MDT
    2

  • 19937
    No problem if you don't mind looking like a 71-year old woman.
      May 20, 2017 11:11 PM MDT
    2

  • 53526
    Not at all, in fact, that's the plan. Go through your wardrobe and select an outfit you don't want any more. 
    ~
      May 20, 2017 11:26 PM MDT
    2