Discussion»Questions»Human Behavior» Some folks are extremely difficult to deal with but you do. They must think the same thing about you. Why deal at all?
LOL what? You mean there are people thinking that *I* am difficult to deal with?? No, surely not! I cannot imagine such a thing :P But on the other hand I do prefer not to have to deal with difficult people.
I know! Go figger! I think you're perfect just as you are Addb! Here's what I do. I engage with folks I like on whom I can depend to be civil. I avoid those who can't/won't provide that to me. Why should I subject myself to unpleasantness? I am in complete control and I exert it. Makes no sense to do otherwise for me personally. I used to engage with everyone and some of 'em made me feel very bad. No longer. I dumped 'em and I am assured of never having to feel bad again due to strangers on an internet social site! Easy peasy! Thank you for your reply! :)
It seem like in our modern times people more an more follow that line of thinking. "Ignore what you cannot handle." Trouble is that does not work too well. Things dont get handled at all.
There must be a better 'balance point' somewhere, I dont know where, but I am pretty sure it involve communication
I used to engage with everyone JakobA. I'm almost 80 years old and I now refuse to engage with those who are unpleasant. There is nothing for me to gain in wasting my time that way so I don't. Sometimes I get tricked into thinking a person will be civil and polite and pleasant.Someone new to me. When I find I was wrong I simply avoid them futurely. Avoidance is much preferable to me than engaging with folks I don't like who don't like me. Period. Thank you for your reply and Happy Monday m'dear! :)
The reason why we deal with them at all is because they're family members! My mom's a very difficult person for me. She's just always critical and it's hard to deal with her but I'm pretty sure if you talk her it's the other way around.
Hmm, did you ever see two people in families who just can't get along? I have. My husband and his maternal grandmother come to mind. My late brother and my half-brother come to mind.
My husband's grandmother unfortunately has dementia now but that did put a stop to the wars she was fighting with some of her family members including my husband. She picked some pretty strange battles to fight but even though she lost all of them she kept fighting them until the very end!
Umm yeah, she was an extremely difficult person but from her point of view it was the other way around.
You know what Liv I'm really very lucky in that regard now. We don't have any family members who are difficult at all.The difficult one passed away years ago. Now one is a staunch Republican and the rest of us aren't so we simply avoid politics and everything goes very smoothly. You have my sincere condolences sweetie. Now when my mom was alive she was a difficult person simply because I think she was unhappy and so she'd let us know when we disappointed her and that seemed to be all the time. She couldn't help being whom she was and I think through her eyes her life left a lot to be desired. My dad, on the other hand, was a very upbeat/optimistic/joyful guy and fortunately my younger sis and I take after him. Going through an entire lifetime feeling cheated must be so sad and I think she felt cheated. SIGH. Thank you for your thoughtful answer. There isn't much you can do but get through those times when you're with those difficult folks.
Hi there stranger! Long time no see! Hope all goes well in your life NJ! Thank you for your reply and Happy Monday! Some things never change. Some people too. Glad to see that you are still you! ((hugs))
Hi Rosie....things are still good with us all over here and try not to read about all the nastiness that's happening around the world...:( I'm still the cranky one in our family and don't know how to stop now...lol
hope your our well and can see your still keeping people toes on here....:)
Why deal at all? Because this is a society. We don't get to pick and choose who we want to deal with. We don't even get to pick our relatives or parents. There is a whole world outside. Dealing teaches us how to share and grow and learn from one another. Yes, even and sometimes especially, those we would otherwise have chosen to ignore.
We don't come out of the womb knowing anything. All those people, those whom we pick and those we don't, help to form our character. How we treat each and everyone speaks of what we are made of. Those who only want to be around those they "like" are self-centered and shallow and sheltered.
Well, when you are a member of a site like this one, you are pretty much expected to interact with just about everyone. You can't expect/demand that everyone agrees with your point of view. Instead of dismissing/attacking/criticizing those who don't agree with you, if maybe you stepped outside your little box and actually tried to have a conversation once in a while, things might be a little different. People get tired of the bear traps that are laid in the form of questions, and start firing back. You can't be rude to people and just expect them to take it, life doesn't work that way.
How many times and how many different ways are you going to ask this question? If you encounter that many unpleasant people, especially on here, when literally no one else complains about it, it is clearly YOUR problem, not the rest of the world.
Adaydreambeliever 