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Randy D

Have you ever faked your own kidnapping just to collect the ransom?





  "Don't talk, just listen. If you ever want to see Randy D alive again, put 1,000 unmarked tildes in a brown leather briefcase and leave it at the end of the 19th Street Pier next to the live bait signpost by 6 pm. Go alone, and remember; I'll be watching you every step of the way. No tracking devices or dye packs, unless you want to find Sandwich Boy spread out all over the county. If I see even one Grammar cop, Sandwich Boy gets it.  Oh, speaking of sandwiches, this is making me hungry. Include a PB&J in that briefcase . . . "

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Posted - July 11, 2018
Tags : None

Responses


  • 5835
    No, but I tell people I gained fifty pounds because a fat guy is harder to kidnap than a skinny guy.
      July 11, 2018 9:39 AM MDT
    1

  • 1502
    Nope, because it wouldn’t work. I’m sure people would pay to keep me away. 
      July 11, 2018 10:01 AM MDT
    2
  • .

    8041
    "Sandwich Boy" ROTFLMAO. Now that's funny. hahahaha
    Sorry Randy D but I am laughing. 
      July 11, 2018 5:59 PM MDT
    1

  • 53367
      July 12, 2018 4:19 AM MDT
    0

  • 5451
    Here's the briefcase, Randy.

    *opens it*

    Ooh, sorry.  I brought 1000 Spotted Tildes instead of 1000 Unmarked Tildes.  Hey!  Now they're getting all over the place!  Get back in there!  This doesn't look good.
      July 11, 2018 6:16 PM MDT
    1

  • 53367

      (She does things like this on purpose, folks.)

    ~
      July 12, 2018 4:19 AM MDT
    1

  • 14795
    Yes......I've tried many times to bundle myself into a car and drive away .....I took an instant dislike to having to punch my self in the teeth to try to get myself to comply .....I gave up though when I started shouting absentees at myself and then feared getting arrested for self abuse........:(
      July 12, 2018 6:47 AM MDT
    0

  • 53367

      Were there any ropes involved?  Duct tape?  Zip ties? You were probably doing it all wrong. 

    ~
      July 12, 2018 9:35 AM MDT
    0

  • 6098
    That would be rather an arrogant exercise in futility. Besides my husband and a few other people who really cares?  If I dropped off the face of the earth you would still be posting about tildes and sandwiches on here and others would still be writing nasty things about our president etc.  The point being that life would still go on the way it does. 
      July 12, 2018 9:07 AM MDT
    1

  • 53367

      Wow, maybe I should kidnap you, the ransom I collect could keep me in sandwiches and tildes forever!

    ~
      July 12, 2018 9:37 AM MDT
    0