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Benedict Arnold

If you learned to hate yourself your whole life can you still come out smiling?

Posted - September 14, 2018
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Responses


  • Yes, if one has time to reflect on the imminence of death, the pleasure would at least manifest into a smile for those who hate themselves, theoretically speaking. This post was edited by Benedict Arnold at September 16, 2018 12:56 AM MDT
      September 14, 2018 7:36 AM MDT
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  • 10026
    I have not hated myself my whole life but knowing my personality I would have to say, yes. :) :)
      September 14, 2018 10:31 AM MDT
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  • 2658
    Smiles is the longest word in the dictionary - it has a mile between each s.
      September 14, 2018 9:08 PM MDT
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  • 10026
    HUGE BIG Smiles to you Beans :) :)  And magically, this brings us closer because we share those smiles in every mile.  AWESOME Beans!!
      September 15, 2018 11:20 AM MDT
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  • 1502
    I could only honestly and accurately answer this if I’d reached the point of hating myself. This post was edited by Rizz at September 16, 2018 12:57 AM MDT
      September 14, 2018 10:57 AM MDT
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  • 1498
    In fiction it often makes for an interesting main character (notably but not necessarily within the noir genre) when despite their self-loathing they find themselves capable of doing some good for others.

    One can somehow come to the realization that past burdens might make present strengths and opportunities, or that as long as one lives and breathes one may do well, or that fortune could just give the right circumstances a push when most needed. As for smiling, I guess there's never truly a solid reason why one couldn't.
      September 14, 2018 11:18 AM MDT
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  • 23572
    Great answer
    :)
      September 14, 2018 4:52 PM MDT
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  • 1498
    Thanks, Welby! (The question happens to relate to Sanja.)
      September 15, 2018 3:23 AM MDT
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  • 23572
    Yes, I thought so.
    :)
      September 15, 2018 5:52 AM MDT
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  • 22891
    i dont see why not
      September 14, 2018 3:29 PM MDT
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  • 5391
    I simply cannot imagine that mindset. Whole life? No, it’s unfathomable to me. 
      September 14, 2018 3:57 PM MDT
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  • 4624
    Of course.
    What is learned can be unlearned.
    Neuroscientists now have ample proof that the brain is "plastic" or endlessly adaptable.
    It can always improve in the direction of our choosing by continuous regular practice of the desired attitude, skill, self-talk etc.
      September 14, 2018 6:07 PM MDT
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  • 23572
    Then there's hope for me with practicing positive self-affirmations.
    :)
      September 14, 2018 6:22 PM MDT
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  • 4624
    Yes, I think affirmations can help.
    But I'd like to suggest that whenever you catch yourself in negative self-talk, try rephrasing it.
    For instance, "Oh sh*t, there I go again, always getting it wrong/ making yet another mistake. I'm such a smuck!"
    Could be rephrased to, "Hmm, how did I make that particular mistake? What could i do to avoid making the same mistake again? Or, how can I learn from this?"
    And when successful, instead of saying "Gee, that was lucky!" say "Wow, I'm getting better at this!"

    Be creative with it - so that you are endlessly looking for ways to see the good side of things.

    I have never seen anything but kindness and intelligence in your participation here, and same for CosmicWunderkind.
    Those two qualities alone would have to go a long way towards deserving realistic self-love.
      September 14, 2018 6:46 PM MDT
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  • 23572
    Yes, good and helpful suggestions, thanks!

    And thanks for your feedback on my answerMug participation! (Yes, I'm getting much better at realistically seeing much more worth in myself than I previously gave myself credit for.)
    :)
      September 14, 2018 6:56 PM MDT
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  • 10026
    I love you Welby!  You are a great person who contributes here and to your community in very positive ways.  Many HUGE hugs for you. :) :) :):) :) :) :):) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :):) :) :) :):):) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :):) :) :) :) :) :):) :) :) :) :) :) :) :):):) :) :):) :) :) :) :) :):) :):) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :):) :):):) :):):) :):) :) :) :) :) :):) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)::):))
      September 14, 2018 7:09 PM MDT
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  • 23572
    You are so kind!
    :)
    :)
    Thanks, Merlin! You're a wonderfully lovely person, too!
      September 14, 2018 7:12 PM MDT
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  • I've never hated myself at any time of my life.
      September 14, 2018 7:14 PM MDT
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  • 5808
    You Betcha...
    ...one's essence is Love,
    BUT... we can do anything,
    even hate one's self.
         But in hating one's self
    we are only hating one's Ego
    and the actions of oneself.
         We are Not hating one's real Self
    which is love and so we are just
    playing a game with ourself,
    so the bubble of hate could burst at any time.
         So SMILE on


      September 14, 2018 8:29 PM MDT
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  • 2658
    Life is too short to spend hating yourself or someone else.

    A smile is something you can give away and still keep.
      September 14, 2018 8:31 PM MDT
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  • 7792
    If you're like me and have hated yourself your whole life, a smile is quite foreign to you.
      September 15, 2018 11:35 AM MDT
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