At how many points in your life have you felt you'd never love again?

Too many to count.

ive never been in love in the first place

Never.  I have never felt the need to count only romance as love.  I have outgrown that need.  Romantic love to me is just putting someone on a pedestal and wishing that person were the image you need.

I love everyone on some level. Even Donald Trump.  I just hate his mentality, but  I realize he is a very sick, damaged idiot of a person.  The part of me that pities him, is the part that loves everyone so much, if I had my way, I would wave the magic wand and make him whole again.

No one deserves the life he created for himself, except maybe HIM.

So, I feel full knowing there are so many people I can think of that give me so much joy even knowing they are on the planet.  I don't have to have a relationship with any of them.  Except an offer of friendship.

I have tried all my life to imagine how it might feel to be loved the first time.

One.  It lasted over 20 years.  But I did love again.

About half a dozen times, every time I broke up with a gf in my teens. The last time was over thirty years ago - then I met my soulmate.

No don't think I ever felt that.  What I felt was that no one would ever really love me.  Because I was not good enough to merit love.  But, you know, people have enjoyed my company and cared about me and isn't that pretty much the same thing? 

I have felt pain, I have felt loss, I have never in my dating or personal life ever felt I would never find love again.  Now I have questioned whether I want what is being offered.  There have been times, far too many to count that I have walked away from offers of love - I did not want the strings or cost