What are some of the lowest, most insensitive things your parent(s) ever said or did to you?
When I got into a college prep high school, my father assured me that it wasn't because I had done well on the intelligence test as they stated, but instead because they wanted our money. That's one. Thanks Dad!
Nothing really that horrible....Jelly in his pockets....when I was little I use to hide his stuff...cling film over their toilets...my sister and I were little terrors ...always giggling and in fits of laughter...my brothers were little angels in comparison..:)
There are too.....all of my nieces are always busy and are all very creative.....They cook with my sisters and sisters inlaws where the boys are plying doing boy stuff .....the girls are defiantly the comedians in our families....lol
I remember when my mother ended up in a mental ward for a few days, she told me that she expected me to be the first in the family to be dragged off to the nut house and she's surprised I avoided it for so long. Well gee, thanks, mom!
What a double whammy! Striking a blow at your mother at the same time as at you.
The word psychopath is over-used. Some people misuse it in the same way as the word "manic" without really understanding what set of symptoms must be consistently displayed to earn such a diagnosis. It's like the words mad or hysterical used to be thrown about, and these days, "hormonal."
I've sensed no lack of empathy in your questions and answers. Au contraire, I've sensed a person who cares greatly for all the life on this planet.
So questions arise: Was he merely angry at not getting his own way with things? Was he at war with your mother and in his rage seeking ways to make all his suffering her fault? Was he over-reacting to some adolescent phase or mistakes you might have made? What were the conditions inside your father that caused him to come up with such an unrealistic comment? Was he depressed and unhappy with his own life? If so, what choices had he made that unwittingly led him into that state?
i remember one time when i was like ten i really wanted a bikini and my mom told me i didn’t have the body for it, all the while she was on the phone with my aunt talking about my older cousin and how beautiful she was. it definitely started as fuel for my eating disorder and even know 12 years later it still really upsets me
There were some particular swear words, profanities and/or vulgarities* that my mother directed toward me and my siblings whenever she was angry with us. I'm not saying that she merely used profanity, I'm talking about directly addressing and directly, specifically referring to us with profanity, name-calling heavily sprinkled with swear words. She never did it in public, which must have been part of her effort to appear as the "perfect mother". We (my siblings and I) were subjected to that language from the time we first understood human language, so it became ingrained in my mind as part of what my mother thought of us and thought about us.
When I was very young, up to age six or eight, I truly did not know that other parents yelled at, shouted at and cursed at their children the way my mother did with us, so it was extremely shameful to me. I would have been embarrassed if any of my friends had heard her ranting at me, or if other adults had heard it. As such, I internalized the way it made me feel, which over the period of my childhood, left me with mixed emotions about "motherly love". I thought it was a myth, a fairy tale, the kind of thing sitcoms and movies portrayed, but certainly not real. I could not for the life of me correlate an assumption that the same person who was supposed to love me as her own son would also berate me with epitaphs that more befitted referring to animals rather than to people. I had every reason to believe that my mother genuinely felt hatred for us when she addressed us that way.
When I became a parent, I was by no means perfect nor the best father in the world, but one thing I had learned from my own experiences was that using words like that on one's own children was one of the worse things anyone can do.
I've been able to recompensate my mother for that and for other missteps she made on her child-rearing, mainly by decreasing my contact with her for an extended period of time (many years now). Additionally, I limited the contact she had with my children too.
*I was going to simply write the words to illustrate exactly what she said, but I decided against it to avoid glorifying or giving credence to her.
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This post was edited by Randy D at December 28, 2018 4:56 PM MST
I also used to think motherly love was a myth, though for different reasons.
I relate to the personal agony of longing for the recognition and love of who one really is, rather than being seen through the lenses of a parent who is an adult wounded child.
But somehow, the person you turned out to be, at least as I see you through this Muggers' window, is a mensch.
Nice Jugs 