People I know well are very tactile to me and vice versa...mostly family and close friends ...at times ,it doesn't take long to make close bonds and at times it's been an instant attraction .... There have been far to many times when guys get to touchy feely and just seem to think they have the right to be that way...
I would enjoy more touch, but only with very good friends - the three or four people I know well, like very much and see frequently.
I don't initiate. It never occurred to me to try.
I tend to think that if the other person doesn't reach out for touch, then it indicates that they don't want it and wouldn't welcome it.
Now that you've raised this question it's made me think twice. What if they don't initiate because I don't? Are others more touchy?
When I think about what I observe in public places, I don't often see displays of affection. There's the odd pair of new lovers who are inseparable. There are the ritual exchanges of hello, good-bye, thank you or comfort between close friends and functional families - and that's about it.
I remember back to when I travelled. Same-gender touch was normal and very public between friends in South-East Asia - but absolutely forbidden between men and women (including spouses). In Spain and Italy, physical affection was expressed far more freely in public, both genders, same and opposite, and it was not assumed to have sexual significance (unless it clearly did - and that was ok when mutual.)
So I'd have to say there's a strong cultural component in how, when, where and why affection is expressed.
29% of Australians were born overseas. A further 21% were born in Australia from migrant parents. One would expect from this that there's be a tremendous diversity of ways of expressing affection. Yet in public, there isn't. The same applies to overt displays of emotion. It's as if the reserved manner of the British tends to dominate the public zeitgeist. Watch out if the Aussie tightens and thins his lips - it means he's dangerously angry. (Many Aussies think Americans are way over the top. Americans might think we're far too reserved.)
When I reach out to touch someone it is always the MOM, comforter and/or friend in me doing so. I reach out that way much, much less now, and rarely if ever to a male. I want to make sure the person isn't mistaking my touch for something it isn't. I don't want to step over personal boundaries as well.
I don't usually like to be touched by anyone I don't know well and I don't usually touch others. I think the only times I can think that I may have done that is when I was consoling someone or expressing sympathy, but it would only be touching that persons forearm. The mother-in-law of one of my sisters used to do that all the time. She would latch onto you and not let go until she was finished saying her piece. I always tried to stay far away from her.
I never touch another person when I talk to them. As for touching me when talking... it depends on the conversation. While I alway feel very awkward when touched, I can understand it if they are offering condolences or support. But during normal day to day conversation, I'd prefer if they would, as the Georgia Satellites put it, "Keep your hands to yourself".
There was an elderly gentleman at the church I went to many years ago who would lightly punch you in the shoulder as he was talking to you. I doubt he was even aware he was doing it.
As much as I love your puppy and am sure you give tons of touches to him/her, I never took you as the touchy type. Humorous? Absolutely! Touchy? A good, personal space, away! ;) :)
This post was edited by Merlin at December 3, 2019 8:38 PM MST
yes they may touch someone while they talking or showing someone. like when u go to Lush store to get a hand massage, they can give u a hand massage while ur talking to them. when u go to Sephora to get mini facials, they will give u a face massage while u talk to them. when u go to the movie theater, the ticket taker takes, or tears ur ticket while directing u to the theater number.
inky 