it must not be a favorite since I can't remember it correctly but -- it goes something like this - -
Three blondes were at heaven's Pearly Gates, waiting to enter heaven. Saint Peter had to ask them some questions to see if they could enter. He pulled each aside and asked --
"What does Easter mean to you?"
The first, "He died for our sins." Peter said, "Come on in."
The second, "He loved us very much." Peter replied, "Welcome."
And he asks the third one, "What does Easter mean to you?"
"Well, he died on the cross . . . and then he was buried in a tomb . . . and, uh. . . three days later he came out of the tomb . . . and he saw his shadow and there were three more weeks of winter!"
A police patrol car was cruising, and the officers spotted that a car was swerving, stopping and starting and generally being driven erratically. They stopped the blonde driver and submitted her to a sobriety test. She passed sober, so the officers asked her why she was driving that way. "There are trees in the middle of the road! Everywhere I turn, there's a tree staring me in the face!" The officer told her, "That's your car deodoriser, hanging from the rear-view mirror."
Police stopped a car being driven by a blonde and asked her for a breath sample. "Hmm" said the cop, "Looks like you've had a few stiff ones". "Oh" she replied, "I didn't know it showed that too".
A blonde was driving when she got pulled over by a traffic enforcement officer. When the officer asked her if she had any identification, the driver responded, “Why would I need that? I know who I am!”
........................ A blonde was at her doctor’s office for an exam due to stomach pains she had been having for over a week. The doctor finished the exam and happily congratulated her, saying, “You’re pregnant!” At first, the blonde was equally ecstatic, but then suspicion clouded her face. “Wait a second, Doctor, how can I be sure this baby is mine?”
.........................,
A blonde decided to leave city life and try her hand at farming. She ran into a problem of having a cross-eyed cow, so she asked the farmer nearest her what she should do. Coincidentally, that other farmer was also a blonde, who said that cross-eyed cows give rotten milk, so the problem has to be remedied immediately. Her advice was to stick a pole in the cow’s butt and blow as hard as possible until the eyes straightened out. The two women began their project, the cow’s owner manning the pole in the rear while the neighbor lady stood in front of the cow to see when the eyes were fixed. As hard as she tried, blowing and blowing and blowing away for several minutes, the owner couldn’t get anything to happen. She even tried moving the pole around, different angles, more shallow insertion, deeper insertion, rotating it as she blew, everything. Her neighbor, frustrated that it was taking so long, said, “Let’s trade places; you’re new at this, city girl, and you don’t know how to do it right.” As they took up their separate positions, the neighbor blonde pulled the pole from the cow, turned it around and stuck its opposite end into the cow’s butt. City blonde asked her, “Why are you doing that?” “Duh, what a silly city girl,” said country blonde, “I have to turn it around: you had your mouth on the other end!”
