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Discussion » Questions » Humor and Jokes » And now its time for the talent portion of our answerMug competition. How will you impress us? What's your awe-inspiring shtick?

And now its time for the talent portion of our answerMug competition. How will you impress us? What's your awe-inspiring shtick?

Posted - December 18, 2019

Responses


  • 2836
    You must be very popular 
    ????
      December 19, 2019 9:30 PM MST
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  • 23641
    My HUGE startle reaction.

    I know I am THE missing Link between animals and humans - - I am a fainting goat.

    Yes, I jump.

    Yes, I sometimes scream or yell.

    Yes, I sometimes fall down.

    :)

      December 18, 2019 8:53 PM MST
    3

  • 4624
    I was amazed.
    I've had goats as pets - I adore them - but none ever fainted.
    The ones in that clip are all dangerously overweight - very bad for their health.
    So I looked up fainting goats and got this...
    Myotonic goats are known as “fainting goats” because when something surprises or frightens them, their muscles go stiff for a short time, and they fall over! ... The locking up is caused by a rare genetic disorder called myotonia congenita.
    Losing consciousness would avoid suffering when attacked by a predator,
    but it could also lose the animal its best chance of escape.
    Hard to tell how such a gene could end up being propagated unless by human intervention. 
      December 19, 2019 2:01 AM MST
    1

  • 10026
    My Goodness!!
    I am about to faint from coincidence of this True Fact!!

    Few people know about the fainting goats.  They are real and to answer lovely, bookworm's research, she is correct.
    They were bred to be "the scapegoat." 
    When they herd sheep or cattle or any sort of man-used beast, they would throw a couple of these goats in the herd.
    When and if coyotes, wolves, or any predator would find their flock as dinner, these goats would get scared and faint.  They satisfied the predator and the flock would be safe.
    It is devastating how animals are sacrificed for the good of their flock.  These goats have a heart and feelings, too!!
    I know this by having the pleasure of knowing two, personally.

    When my parents built their home on 5 acres in the Pacific Northwest, they had a welsh pony and an arabian.  Dad had no interest in riding but liked them as pets.  Mom loves to ride but was in her 60s and barely had the time. To keep them company, they bought some goats. 
    Living in a small, rural, community, they knew most everyone within a 15 miles radius.  Two guys up the road a bit, had a farm. They named their farm,  "The Funny Farm."  These 2 guys were fantastic! One of their great attributes was rescuing, caring, and raising goats!!
    They had fainting goats which my m&d immediately took a liking to and bought. 

    Andy and Sunshine.  Andy was black and white like the goat shown above... only substitute black for the white on this goat.  He had a splash of white on his forehead and legs, as I recall. He was hilarious.
    Sunshine was a little more shy. She liked hanging with the other animals more than people.  She was black and white also but had such a sweetness about her, Bill and Josh at the Funny Farm named her Sunshine.   
    My parents had fences waaayyy out on their property to mark the property lines, a corral for the horses and goats and a barn for all critters that needed a place to be safe during the winter months. There were no other fences.  The house and surrounding property were open and welcome to all the creatures.
    It was great.  Mom would let Andy and Sunshine out to graze and be free.  This (in a funny, good way,) drove my dad crazy! Right in front of their house my dad had planted and grown a lawn that he took pride in, weeding, feeding, and manicuring every week.  The rest of the property was sage and high desert terrain. This was a true delight for Andy and Sunshine.  Big smiles!!  Of Course, Dad!  Didn't you see this coming?! Giggles!
    Dad would come to the porch and watch this whole scenario unfold in front of him.  He knew he was outnumbered. ;) :) Mom and the goats....What's a guy to do but sit down, read the paper, have a cup of coffee, a smoke, and enjoy the morning sun.
    The goats didn't do as much damage to front lawn as you might first think.  They had their eyes on something much better....
    My parents didn't smoke in the house.  We all would go out on the various decks to smoke.  On the front porch, they had this cast iron sort of pottish-thing they used as an ashtray.  It was cool, as ashtrays go, because it was heavy, functional, and everyone knew where it was so it wouldn't get misplaced or knocked over. 
    Andy was a large and brave fainting goat. That sounded funny, hu? He was TALL and well-fed!
    He would come up on the porch and start eating the cigarette butts out of the ashtray.  He loved them. 
    When my parents found out this was how the ashtray kept getting emptied, they freaked.  That was the end of that ashtray or any ashtrays on the decks around the house. 
    Andy used to be-line through the house, too! 
    Ahhh the good ol' days.  Those goats were true entertainment and well taken care of. 
    We never made them faint for our entertainment.  They did it all on their own. 

    Luckily, they didn't live a stressed life so not a lot of fainting was in their lives... which they lived happily at mom and dads.
    Thanks for reading this true account of fainting goats. :) :)
    If you have the opportunity to help an animal and room to do so, they are truly fun, happy, and affectionate pets to have as friends. :) :) This post was edited by Merlin at December 19, 2019 9:06 AM MST
      December 19, 2019 8:59 AM MST
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  • 16829
    Lame dad jokes and awful puns.

    I'm also a fair to middling singer/songwriter, I've performed at the Sydney Opera House.
      December 19, 2019 1:57 AM MST
    1

  • 6988
    The only reason I don't write poetry here is because I can't operate a computer well enough to put the verses in neat order. There is a lot I don't understand about computers and keyboards. I used to try all kinds of things, but this computer ended up in the repair shop and cost hundreds of dollars to fix. So no poetry. 
      December 19, 2019 9:40 AM MST
    1

  • 10026
    I have an outstanding ability to give explicit detail when writing.
    It is the gift of babble.
    This, I'm sure bores many when I carry on about a subject they may not be that interested in but I've always done it.
    I tried once, for a week, to see if I could change my ways.  I did.  It just wasn't me.  I felt like I was being curt, snippy, and not me.
    I always revert back.


    This post was edited by Merlin at December 19, 2019 10:41 PM MST
      December 19, 2019 10:38 PM MST
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