A Canadian woman tried to kill me with poisoned wine*; can I lock her up in my basement without worrying about being criminally charged?

 

  Randy D: “And another thing, do you even validate me in this fake relationship?  I’m sick and tired of being the only one who‘s doing anything at all to pretend that we’re together.  I work my fingers to the bone, I give and give and give and give, but what do I get in return?  Nothing, not a thing!  I go to night school to learn Canadian “English”, and everyone in the world knows how fruitless that is, I bought a toboggan and skis and snow shoes and wool caps and mittens, Jaimie, mittens!  I haven’t worn mittens since I was six years old, Jaimie, but I bought them to be with you!  Not to mention the matching parkas you got for us, you insist that I wear it in public, and do I complain? No, Jaimie, because I’m pretending to work on this fakeness of ours!  And who do you think cleans up after that moose of yours?  I didn’t even want a moose, but nooooooooo, Jaimie says we have to have a moose, so we get a moose. Is Jaimie on shovel patrol every day following that moose around?  Does Jaimie have to carry a box of Hefty bags with her everywhere she goes?  Noooooo, Jaimie is some kind of princess who can’t get dirty and can’t break a fingernail!  I could have been with anyone, you know!  All that cold-weather clothing works just fine in Minnesota, I could have been with Jane S all this time in a fake relationship, but I chose you!  Do you think I actually like eating Canadian sandwiches?  Just once I’d like a change from beaver burgers . . . wait, I actually like those. But the other ones, the otter dogs instead of hot dogs and the salmon marinated in Molson’s are just plain weird. And while we’re on the subject, that wine you make in the bathtub and force me to drink, well, it’s making me sick. I think I’m growing Fallopian Tubes inside of me . . . are you even listening to me?  Hello, hello, Jaimie?”
~

See what happens when you stray from home in your fakeness online. 

 

  I should have listened to you, you’re the only one who cares. 

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OMG hahahahahaHAHAHAHAHA THAT is funny in a really sick way.  

Please stop using Winston Churchill one liners to that American Aristocrat women...
She also said to him.....Sir ,You are drunk.... and he replied ... And you Madam are UGLY....but at least I will be sober in the morning....:) 

 

  Oh, believe me, I’ll make sure that there is no escaping from there. (Wink, wink.)

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