Next time somebody asks me, I will tell them I am the head golf pro at the Pine Oaks Country Club. What would you tell them?
It did NOT escape my attention that you failed to inquire as to whether or not there’s any competition for the job, Bru.
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You’re right. I have him beat in so many categories, your deep love for me being the most debilitating among them. Poor guy doesn’t know he lost the race before the starting bell ever rang. Listen, let him down gently, please.
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I have several cover stories:
1. Number One gigolo operating exclusively in the metropolitan Minneapolis area.
2. Entrepreneur, avid collector, expert witness and curator of a rare punctuation-related commodity. (Cough, cough.)
3. Sandwich advocate, connoisseur and spokesman.
4. Freelance massage specialist at layman level for a selective set of hand-picked clientele. Clothing is optional, and it’s usually whichever option I decide is appropriate.
5. Private investigator on anti-avocado, anti-mayonnaise and anti-Vegemite campaigns.
6. Law enforcement officer, specializing in morphology.
7. And so on . . .
Oh, believe me . . .
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No, you’re supposed to give a PHONY answer, Mate, not what you do on your actual full time career!
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