It depends on the point of view. To others (looking at me), I am heavily blessed and "have it made". However, I suffer from severe depression, so my inward viewpoint (me looking out) is much different.
I am really sorry to hear that I think that's the reason so many folks don't recognize that someone is in trouble - everything looks sunny on the outside, but it's stormy inside. I do hope you can get some help so you don't do something rash.