Discussion»Questions»Human Behavior» If strangers approach you and ask for money to get something to eat do you give them any, say you have none to spare, or insult them? Why?
Hello Rosie. I used to get people doing that almost on a daily basis when I worked in NYC. I wouldn't give them money. I would always ask them what they wanted to eat and then buy it for them.
Since this usually happens in NYC, there's always a restaurant or deli close by and I will walk them into the deli, let them order what they want and pay for it. I do not give cash.
I do two things: Remind them that panhandling is illegal in our county and that people can be jailed for it. Secondly, I buy them something to eat. Many of these folks have a drug or alcohol problem, so giving money directly is out of the question. I'm a believer in the saying: Be careful how you entertain strangers, for many have entertained angels unaware.
It's very kind that you buy them food driftwood. Folks with drug or alcohol problems get hungry too. I understand why you don't give them money. Thank you for your reply and Happy Thursday! :)
I just say 'I do not have any money '. Around where I live it is always just money for drugs. There are lots of free food places from 7 am till 10 pm. I know a guy (Salvation Army soldier off duty not in uniform ) who offered to buy a meal for a panhandler and got punched in the face for being so ignorant.
That's harsh! The puncher must have been on something to do that or just a very mean/nasty person. We tell the truth. We say we are retired and live on social security. Although once in awhile a person really looks as if he/she will spend the money on food. In fact I wasn't with Jim. He was out doing guy-stuff shopping but a few days ago a middle-aged lady approached him and asked if he had any spare change so she could buy something to eat. There was something about her that must have moved him. He gave her $2. I think he was going into a fast-food joint himself to grab a bite. He said she thanked him profusely. She went in to the restaurant, bought something to eat, then came out and sat on the curb and ate it. She didn't stay inside and there were no tables outsides. He said he watched her and felt so bad for her but she did buy food and he saw her eat it. He said she looked to be in her 40's and her eyes were so sad. I thanked him for being so kind and doing that. I think he is a very good judge of character. He is a very kind man. But he is not a sap. Thank you for your reply Kg and Happy Thursday to thee! :)
Rosie, I agree with you on your statement. I live close to the Mission I once worked at, so I know many of the people get a monthly check. Some actually get as much as my hubby and myself, if not more.
It's sad because it makes those folks who really ARE hungry and would appreciate being able to buy food b e passed by. Years ago my son attended Cal Berkeley. When I went up to visit him he warned me about the "street people". Some would accost you on the street and almost demand money belligerantly. Of course he was with me and 6'2" and built like a football player so I didn't experience it but it made me very wary. My mom and dad always gave such folks money. They lived through the Depression but I think maybe people were more honest then. Now you never really know if you are truly helping someone in need or being played and laughed at! SIGH. Thank you for your reply SA and Happy Thursday! :)
So sad and so true Rosie. I worked serving the homeless for almost 9 years. In those years I learned the people who asked for the most help, didn't need it. The ones who came to me, but didn't want all I had to give them, because they were concerned about taking from those who were also being helped, needed it the most. Being humble and empathetic to others really speaks loudly.
I have experienced that too SA. The modest, humble ones don't want more than what they need and are always grateful for it. The other ones? They should be ashamed of themselves! Thank you for your reply! :)
Harry 