My wife has been gone for hours, so I've had to fend for myself. I made myself a sandwich, but that's just a temporary,

Not to worry, you will make it until she returns. You can always eat the peanut butter and jelly by the spoon full if it's too hard to smear it on two pieces of bread. :  )

Not likely, but I'm sure that's grounds for divorce.

I dont think you will die, but you may be pregnant.

Wow....I've never seen a guy before laying between two giant slices of bread......I take it that it was going to be a wholemeal you were aiming for or maybe you we hoping for someone else to eat you.....

I take that you relish getting yourself in that type of a pickle.....and I suppose its just another sauce of norrishnent ...
Its not Meat and two veg, and I'm sure you won't have anough to go a'round......

I myself would be very concious about eating black market can'able products.....and I really think you should desist with your obsession of self servive foods.......
There is a plus side to this though...... You will never be late for dinner again if you persist in making yourself a sandwich :( 

For any sake, how did you survive in your bachelor pad?

Fingers crossed...

...measure. It... sounds better.

i dont think so

She'll come home as soon as she finishes making my sandwiches over here.  ^.^.