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Discussion » Questions » Legal » I have a locked dresser in my possession and the owner died. Is it unethical to open it and look?
Just Asking

I have a locked dresser in my possession and the owner died. Is it unethical to open it and look?

My mom found a boyfriend at her previous assisted living home and they spent a lot of time together. When he moved out, he left a locked dresser behind in my mother's possession. When my mom moved out, I took the dresser along with her belongings- it was either that or the staff would pick it up and throw it away or donate it. All her stuff has been in my living room since the move- I assumed I'd only be housing it for a couple of weeks, but now it's been months. 

So, I guess the guy moved a second time and then got mad I had his dresser. He demanded I return it to him. I told him he could send someone to get it, but that I wasn't paying to rent a U-Haul to transport it and I couldn't lift it on my own anyway. He threatened to have me arrested for theft. I laughed at that and told him to go ahead. I never heard another word. 

All that being said, the guy passed away this week and his family isn't returning my mother's calls. I really don't have any way to get in touch with his family beyond her. But... I have this dresser sitting in my living room and the lock on it is cheap. It would be easy to break. And... I'm really curious to know what was so important that he locked it. This is a serious aftermarket gig- he screwed a padlock holder onto a wooden dresser. I could either unscrew it or just break the lock. 

But... it's not mine. And, it's not my mother's. That makes it bad to open it. But... the guy is dead and I have no way of getting his dresser to his family. And... I'm curious. Really, really curious. I once asked my mom what was in it that was so important and she said she didn't know, so this is a mystery. 

If I'm not allowed to open it (and we're talking ethics here, not law), what am I supposed to do with it? How long should I hold it for? And, if it goes unclaimed, am I then allowed to open it? Or out of respect, should I leave it locked and then dispose of it? For what it's worth, nobody but the decedent had a key.

Posted - December 8, 2018
Tags : None

Responses


  • 5808
    Mom's decision if she wants you to open it Huh?
    It could be good or bad for her ex Boyfriend.
    ...she doesn't care?
    OPEN IT
    the curiosity will 
    keep you awake at nights
    until you do LOL
      December 8, 2018 3:31 PM MST
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  • 53504

      I disagree. Just Asking's mother has neither moral nor legal say in the matter because she is not the deceased's blood relative. Their relationship before his death doesn't transfer rights to her. 
    ~
      December 8, 2018 5:24 PM MST
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  • 7939
    That may be so, but he left it in her room when he moved. He left it in her care. I think it's reasonable to assume he was ok with her having it. Legally, I suppose it may have still been his unless he expressly said it was hers and if he was calling me to have it returned to him, I suspect the law would say it's still his, or rather property of his estate... meaning it belongs to his sons. But, I did tell him to collect it more than a month ago and he made no attempt to do so. That might count as property abandonment, making it mine. O_o 

    In short, I think there's a fair argument that it belongs to all three of us: his estate, my mother, and me. 
      December 8, 2018 8:06 PM MST
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  • 22891
    i would open it, it sounds like its yours now
      December 8, 2018 3:31 PM MST
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  • 7280
    Personal opinion and advice: (in no particular order)

    If the man and his heirs have essentially "abandoned" that dresser, then you may claim it.  (Good question for a lawyer---deciding that something is abandoned may have legal standards you may need to be aware of.)

    Opinion wise, once it is legally yours---and it may be already---you have no responsibility to abide by his wishes that the dresser remain locked.


    This post was edited by tom jackson at December 8, 2018 8:07 PM MST
      December 8, 2018 4:28 PM MST
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  • 7939
    Well, it's doubtful this will ever become a legal case and I think legal ownership would come down to who has the best lawyer. 

    That said... would you peek? If it was you? And, at what point would you look?
      December 8, 2018 8:11 PM MST
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  • 53504

       To be fair, the mourning period should come into play. I lost someone dear to me, and as the residence (an apartment) was being cleaned out mere days of the funeral, I was offered the opportunity to "take whatever you want".  I was horrified and I actually recoiled at the suggestion, declining even to touch or look through the belongings.  I was in no state of mind to think of material possessions. (That was 1993, and I never did return to the apartment nor did I give one thought to the possessions.)

       I'd give the family six months to respond to either phone calls or letters (if that's feasible).  A good faith effort should be made, and if they either give you permission to keep it or say they don't care, it's all yours. If there's no response at all six months from the first attempt at contact, call me do that I can be there when you morally and legally open it. 
    ~
      December 8, 2018 5:32 PM MST
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  • 7939
    That's a very good point. I went through something similar with my grandparents. While visiting my grandfather after my grandmother passed, he opened up her jewelry box and told me to take anything I wanted. I couldn't do it. Just like you, I literally recoiled.

    I think six months is a bit extreme though. I don't want to keep some dead guy's dresser in my home for six months out of some kind of moral obligation. 

    All that being said, you know I already opened it. lol There was literally nothing of value in it. Old receipts for cigarettes. An empty coffee can. The most "interesting" find was a Cialis prescription. I could have done without seeing that. I saved you a trip. How thoughtful I am. ;)
      December 8, 2018 8:19 PM MST
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  • 53504


      You couldn't even wait a week, a measly week?  You couldn't give us a chance to give you more answers?  I'm calling the cops! I want you hauled in front of Judge Judy!  This is an outrage, heads should roll, banishment from the kingdom, no coffee for a decade, something!  Grrrrrrrrr!

    ~


     
      December 8, 2018 10:08 PM MST
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  • 7939
    lol I didn't wait at all. I mentioned it to my son's girlfriend and she insisted that I do it while she was there and watching. I'm easily encouraged. I think I made it one hour. 

    More people can still answer. The ethical debate isn't over and I think it's a fun question for people to ponder. Well, you know... as much fun as a question involving death can be.

    If all else fails, I can just screw the plate back on and it'll be good as new. Like I never opened it. 
      December 8, 2018 10:20 PM MST
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  • 53504

      "Easily encouraged", huh?  I'm not so sure.  I've been trying to 'encourage' you into something for years now . . . 


    ~





      December 8, 2018 10:25 PM MST
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  • 53504

      Nosy. 


    (Reported.)
    ~
      December 8, 2018 5:33 PM MST
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  • 7939
    Says the guy who wanted to be here when I opened it. :p
      December 8, 2018 8:20 PM MST
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  • 53504

      You don't have any proof of that: my fingerprints can't be found on the computer's keys, and someone hacked into my account hours ago.  Nice try, Agatha Christie.

    ~
      December 8, 2018 10:13 PM MST
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  • 5391
    No, I wouldn’t think it is unethical.

    Consider: What if it held something illegal, or hazardous? On your property, would you not be at risk. I don’t think it unethical to protect your interests, when no one else is harmed. 
    Who can dispute your decision since this was essentially abandoned on your premises, despite your making every effort to resolve the situation. 

    I think it would be highly ethical, even laudable, if property belonging to others were found inside and you returned it to them. This post was edited by Don Barzini at December 9, 2018 11:05 AM MST
      December 8, 2018 8:25 PM MST
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  • 628
    Hello JA
    I would most certainly open it. You dont know what is in it, hypothetically it could illegal contraband, that under some circumstance, you might be held liable for its contents. say your place caught fire and during the investigation they find a stolen gun, or illegal drugs, which were in his dresser but on your property, you could be charged. The second reason is to inventory the property so you could determine its value. In many states you are allowed to throw away abandoned property if it falls below a certain value without notice.
    In any case, what ever costs you may incur in trying to locate and notify any heirs, you are legally entitled to, including storage. 
    I would open it, if you find things you think the family might want, notify them in writing, email or public notice, give them a time limit to come and pick it up. maybe 10 days, different states may have a set time limit if they do not, you can do whatever you like with it..


      December 8, 2018 9:22 PM MST
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  • 5835
    That is abandoned property. Pop that lolly!
      December 9, 2018 9:15 AM MST
    1