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Discussion » Questions » Human Behavior » Who are you really? DO you get typecast a lot? What side of you would you show more if you could?
Adaydreambeliever

Who are you really? DO you get typecast a lot? What side of you would you show more if you could?

My natural me is silly and irreverent.. I laugh and joke about almost everything.. Sadly I am not able to show that in most of of my life at the moment.. 

Posted - December 9, 2018
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Responses


  • 8214
    I would do more for my family.  My grandson could use a little help right now.  Not sure what kind of help but I wish I could be there for him. 
      December 9, 2018 12:53 PM MST
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  • 6477
    It's frustrating when we feel we are helpless. 
      December 9, 2018 12:58 PM MST
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  • 7939

    I get typecast as the "emotional camel." I just made that up. I think it's new and I'm running with it. In short, the people around me think I can basically go forever without needing to refuel. That goes for everything from care-giving duties, through providing emotional support for others, through putting in long hours at work to make sure everyone is provided for. I've been doing these things for so long that the people in my life just expect it from me, continue to take, and are shocked when I say I'm at my limit. I think in some cases, I am that person. I'm better able to brush off the things I can't change and work through the things I can. At the same time, I really do wish more people around me could hold their own and not rely on me. 

    This happens less now than it did before. Back when I was married, I was always typecast as this virtuous being who lived to serve others. Which, I do to some degree. I am happy when people around me are happy. But, back then, that was all I did. I had no sense of self. When I first started establishing boundaries with people, they'd react with disbelief and anger. They'd actually get mad at me for having limits. That still happens now, but the anger isn't quite so strong. 

      December 9, 2018 1:27 PM MST
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  • 44623
    I know better.
      December 9, 2018 2:43 PM MST
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  • 6477
    I can identify with that.. I have always been a pleaser and appeaser.. I am only now beginning to put boundaries in.. people don't like it and it has not had good reactions so far.. but I will keep trying as I can get quite burnt out sometimes. 
      December 10, 2018 6:07 AM MST
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  • 4624
    It will get easier as you practice and discover all the different ways of asserting boundaries.
    Even though people get miffed at first when they don't get their own way, they can always get their need met in another way.
    You don't end up burned out and resentful, and they respect you more.
    In the end, it works out better for everyone.
    I wish it hadn't taken me over 40 years to learn those lessons.

      December 10, 2018 3:55 PM MST
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  • 6098
    You very much give this off JA.  Is that what people used to call being an "enabler"?  Making it possible for others to just run their numbers irresponsibly.  You feel somehow it is your responsibility to see that those around you are happy - which is just impossible. Esp if those people don't choose to be happy.  Your declaring you did not have a sense of self is very moving. There is just so much we can do in caring for others and really ultimately they have to hold their own or go under or all we are doing is propping them up.  For our own reasons.  Seems amazing that people would be so willing to just take from you - especially considering you have children who they know should be your focus. 
      December 10, 2018 6:40 AM MST
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  • 4624
    Being an "enabler" means rescuing and patching up the disasters created by addicts, either when they are under the influence of their drug of choice, or when they are in the processes of obtaining a fix or in withdrawals.
    The effect of trying to control, rescue, fix mistakes or keep the secrets means it takes far longer for the dependent person to reach their rock bottom. By the time they get there, things like health issues have become far worse and sometimes irreversible. In the meantime, everyone around the addict is suffering, but most especially, the children are developing lifelong issues that will be exceptionally difficult to heal.
    The enabler is emotionally addicted to having someone dependant on him or her, so another term for it is "co-dependent."
    I know because I am one. I recovered through twelve years of Family-of-Origin therapy, three and a half years in Co-Dependents Anonymous, many years of Insight Meditation, and NVC.
    To this day, I still have to watch my impulses carefully to avoid getting hooked by people who use manipulative tactics.
    It never hurts to help someone who is in genuine need.
    But the "needs" of addicts are not genuine; they are self-created dramas, up to and including crimes, life-threatening accidents and health issues. This post was edited by inky at December 14, 2018 1:13 PM MST
      December 10, 2018 4:07 PM MST
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  • 14795
    I get typecast because of my natural hair colour....,and I always try my best to live up to wit .....:)D 
      December 9, 2018 2:36 PM MST
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  • 44623
    I know better.
      December 9, 2018 2:44 PM MST
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  • 14795
    I just know butter ..  .:) 
      December 9, 2018 3:03 PM MST
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  • 44623
      December 11, 2018 7:36 PM MST
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  • 14795
    Your not Marge out of the Simpsons are yew...:) D 
      December 11, 2018 8:49 PM MST
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  • 16797
    I'm typecast either as a bogan or an advocate. The real me is ENTP, "The Debater". I'm an argumentative sonuvab*tch.
      December 9, 2018 2:43 PM MST
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  • 6477
    I've never seen that side of you.. the argumentative side I mean.. 
      December 10, 2018 6:08 AM MST
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  • 16797
    You've not seen my spats here with m2c (dangerous, she's a mod) over Drumpf. Or with StuBee over the relative merits of cricket vs baseball. I used to get into arguments with Salt & Red Pepper over just about everything.
    Of course, my discussions with Randy regarding Vegemite are lighthearted fun.
      December 11, 2018 7:28 PM MST
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  • 44623
    I don't care if someone stereotypes me. In real life I may come across to some as an arrogant SOB. Once you get to know me well, you'll realize it's true. This post was edited by Element 99 at December 11, 2018 7:37 PM MST
      December 9, 2018 2:47 PM MST
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  • 14795
    You miss' t out the word' 'Come' again ......  I do hope your not going to make a Habit out of it....It would be Hard I know :)
      December 9, 2018 2:55 PM MST
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  • 10650
    The real me is smart, very humorous, and imaginative (but not outgoing).  I'm great at parody and satire.  However, due to my extreme shyness, social anxiety, and speech impairment, I get typecast as being arrogant and stuck-up.  

    I would definitely show off my humorous side.  Those who take the time to understand me (literally) find me to be excessively funny.
      December 9, 2018 4:55 PM MST
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  • You get what you see.  I don't put on a dog & pony show for anyone.  :P This post was edited by Benedict Arnold at December 10, 2018 6:09 AM MST
      December 9, 2018 6:08 PM MST
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  • 4624
    Not many people know me because I'm fairly introverted. I spend most of my time at home and, when I'm out, mix within small, overlapping circles. These people only see me in specific contexts.

    The few who are close, my husband and friends, know me as well as they want to - I have nothing to hide.
    If they typecast me, I'm not aware of it - I highly doubt that they would need or want to.


    This post was edited by inky at December 10, 2018 4:08 PM MST
      December 9, 2018 7:23 PM MST
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  • 22891
    probably nny good side
      December 9, 2018 7:36 PM MST
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  • 6098
    I would say I am pretty serious, religious,  feeling I don't quite fit in anywhere, and needing affirmation.  Able to quite happily spend a lot of time just being with my husband doing whatever we need to.  Guess I am typecast as cool, efficient, independent, able to get things done without requiring acknowledgement or attention.  Which is part of me as well.  Being so typecast like that gives me a chance to feel I do fit in so I have gone with it. 
      December 10, 2018 6:09 AM MST
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