Active Now

Malizz
my2cents
Discussion » Questions » Death and Dying » Did you lose a life partner? Then you know how I feel. My husband of 62 years died on Christmas Day 2019.....
Benedict Arnold

Did you lose a life partner? Then you know how I feel. My husband of 62 years died on Christmas Day 2019.....

He died in a local hospice after being sent from one hospital to another. He had several strokes after a "summer from hell" for both of us. He died in my arms. I felt rather peaceful at that moment, his life was not worth living anymore. And I had been at the breaking point, mentally and physically, I was his caregiver at home. Now, being 84, I begin a life I never knew, doing EVERYTHING myself and living alone ( with my cat ), starting with all the phone calls and paper work. 

Posted - January 5, 2020
Tags : None

Responses


  • 17614
    Oh Karin, I'm so so sorry that you lost your dear husband.  I have lost someone I loved dearly but it was not my husband.  I feel for you because I know there are decisions to be made and plans.  I will pray for strength and comfort for you.  I hope there is someone there to help you. If you think I could possibly be of any help to you please message me here (not Facebook).  
      January 5, 2020 6:35 PM MST
    7

  • Thank you, Thrifty. Some days before he died, a longtime camperfriend of of ours with her husband, parked their unit not far away and drove me to 2 hospitals, invited me for restaurant meals and wait for my call when I would need them again. So far I am doing very good, and I feel peaceful, I have everything running and under control. I thank you for your offer, whenever I should be not so clear about something, I would message you here.  Big hug - Karin.
      January 5, 2020 6:44 PM MST
    6

  • 17614
    I'm so thankful for your friends. Having someone close by makes a difference.  I check in here every day.  :)

      January 5, 2020 7:17 PM MST
    4

  • 23641
    Thinking of you.

    Hang in there.

    Like I said previously, in the photo you posted - - he looked really nice. :)

    My best to you.

    A family member of mine died around this time a couple of years ago; that's different than a life partner, though.

    Be Well,

    :)

    A day at a time
      January 5, 2020 6:40 PM MST
    5

  • Thank you, Welby. I am healthy, according to my doctor, and I feel strong, and I have enough work to do, which distracts me from feeling sorry for myself. I have hopes for a nice and quiet future. 
      January 5, 2020 6:50 PM MST
    5

  • 44649
    That is so sad. I know you had a wonderful life together. To die in your arms...what a way to go. Be at peace now knowing that he is.
      January 5, 2020 8:24 PM MST
    5

  • 53524

      I'm sorry to hear that you have lost him, and no words can comfort you sufficiently. My condolences to you, my friend. 

    ~
      January 5, 2020 9:09 PM MST
    3

  • 5451
    I'm sorry to hear that. *hugs* 
      January 5, 2020 9:14 PM MST
    4

  • Hope you will always find comfort in his memory .
      January 5, 2020 9:27 PM MST
    5

  • 4624
    Feeling so sad hearing about his death, remembering how close you were.
    I'm sure it will be a huge thing adapting to being on your own.
    The hardest times can be later, after all the funeral, the paperwork and the condolences have died down.
    If you ever feel like a chat, please feel free to message me.
    warmly,
    Manna
      January 6, 2020 12:57 AM MST
    5

  • 19937
    Sincere condolences on your loss.  I hope when the grief subsides, all that will remain are the happy memories you shared.  
      January 6, 2020 6:58 AM MST
    3

  • 5808
    Blessings and Good health be with you.
    He will always be in your heart, never apart
    from you will he be.
    God Bless
    Baba
      January 6, 2020 12:32 PM MST
    3

  • 2219
    I lost my beloved wife 14 months ago. However as I had been a bachelor for some time, it was no problem coping physically (with a cat too). The chore of disposing of her effects is tiresomely still ongoing.  
      January 6, 2020 1:53 PM MST
    4

  • 4624
    I'm sorry you lost your wife.
    I think being alone before and after marriage is different.
    Before, one takes solo existence as the norm.
    After, there's a period of adapting emotionally to not having someone around
    who knows you almost as well as she knows herself.
    Close companionship is the biggest loss for people who've had a good marriage.
      January 6, 2020 2:39 PM MST
    3

  • 34434
    Sorry for you loss. Glad you have friends there to help you at this time. 
      January 6, 2020 2:47 PM MST
    3

  • 7280
    Oh, dear---I am so sorry to hear that news.

    Maintain a support system and grieve at your own speed and in your own way. 

    My thoughts and prayers are with you.
      January 6, 2020 3:03 PM MST
    4

  • 5391
    Most heartfelt sympathies for your loss.
    As one married exactly half as long (31 years), I might claim at least half an understanding of your grief. 
    The fortunes of life turn from us all after a certain point, but we can reflect on having shared life’s ebb and flow while we were all here together. I hope neither your heart nor your spirit is dimmed. Best to you. 


      January 6, 2020 4:00 PM MST
    4

  • 16829
    Heartfelt condolences. At least he passed in the arms of someone he loved.
    No words can bring comfort, only time. He'll be waiting for you on the other side.
      January 6, 2020 5:05 PM MST
    4

  • Thank you, my friends, for responding to the saddest post of mine ever. You all found so comforting words for it, I know how hard it is to press the mind for those. I can tell you, that I feel peaceful and thankful that his life came to a close pretty quickly, so he did not have to suffer any longer. During his last week in one of the hospitals, he was still a little responsive. I told him over and over that I love him, and he mouthed the words: Love you too. Those were his last words to me. 

    Our camperfriends will leave the area soon, they are fulltime campers, like we were and I still am. I will stay in this Resort in Zephyrhills, FL. in our trailer for good, besides - I would be not able to move this 40' monster around, with or without a heavy truck, which we exchanged last fall for a nice little Hyundai, because the long big dually was too troublesome for me and too expensive on fuel to drive Dieter around, for the dialyses and dr's appointments.. The neighbors in any campground or Resort are the best company when it comes to help each other. They brought me meals, cookies and visited me during the first days, and they promised, that they will help me whenever I need them. 

    I started right away to empty out Dieters clothing, I feel better not having to look at those when I open the wardrobe closet. Now his ashes are in there, still not openend or seen by me. They will stay there until our kids in Germany are able to take a vacation and fly over here, so we can give Dieter back to nature at our discretion very privately. When I say "kids", I mean very grown-up's, of course. Our first son is 62 and officially retired as a Colonel in the German Air Force, but called for now as a Reserve Officer. Our second son ( 60 ) has a patent as captain at sea in the Merchant Marine and works in Management in the newest biggest container harbor in Germany, in Wilhelmshaven,  as a Logistic specialist, and just came home from Finnland. Our daughter will be 55 in May and works as a Kindergarten Teacher ( graduated in Sociology) in Bremen. I can be very proud of them, what they did with their life and what they accomplished. I was in internet and phone contact with them constantly.
      January 7, 2020 8:04 AM MST
    3

  • So sorry to hear that.  I've been married for nearly 49 years and can't imagine how difficult it would be to lose my husband.  I hope the beautiful memories you have will comfort you.  Best wishes that 2020 brings you happiness.
      January 7, 2020 9:24 AM MST
    2

  • 3523
    I am very sorry for your loss.  I hope you have lots of family remaining, lots of friends, and lots of hobbies.  If so, you'll probably recover, mostly.  Just my opinion.
      January 7, 2020 6:15 PM MST
    1

  • Thank you, your opinion is right - friends, hobbies, wonderful helping neighbors in this RV Resort, but my family is far away. I live alone now, but I stay in close contact via modern technics. 
      January 7, 2020 8:08 PM MST
    0