Patient grew up in a two-parent family with a six-years older sister. The family was dysfunctional in that in important but subtle ways the locus of power was not on the parents bu... morePatient grew up in a two-parent family with a six-years older sister. The family was dysfunctional in that in important but subtle ways the locus of power was not on the parents but in the mother’s older sister. The mother’s older sister was tyrannical; the parents were weak and dependent individuals with a poor level of autonomy. Both parents had never separated psychologically from their families of origin. This was especially true of the mother who was profoundly dependent on her older sister for emotional support. In important ways the mother’s sister infantilized the mother. Both parents acquiesced in mother’s sister’s arrogation of a parental role. The mother’s sister was childless and married to a man who showed a reaction formation against aggression; he ceded marital power to his tyrannical wife.There was a lot of marital discord between the patient’s parents. In the patient’s early years (up to age 12) there was serious and continual discord centering on ... less
I recently posted about wondering how to go about living with two abusive, sick parents; as an adult they treat me incapable of many things, belittle me, have even hit/pushed me re... moreI recently posted about wondering how to go about living with two abusive, sick parents; as an adult they treat me incapable of many things, belittle me, have even hit/pushed me recently, and I was very close to reporting assault to police, but didn't. I have low self esteem, never dated, and feel less than many people b/c of their awful words and actions to me for YEARS. I am looking into therapy now, and I am unsure how to go about the holidays.. do I still get two persons who have shamed me, mocked me, etc, gifts, to be a 'daughter' still, or do I not get something, for how I feel is depleted and sad that I don't 'have' parents... what would you do? less
We will never produce children who are kind, thoughtful, accepting, polite if their parents aren't all those things. How do we make parents better people BEFORE they ruin their kid... moreWe will never produce children who are kind, thoughtful, accepting, polite if their parents aren't all those things. How do we make parents better people BEFORE they ruin their kids? BEFORE they have kids?
